Last week I wrote about the culture shock my youngest experienced on holiday in The Lakes.
I had planned to leave it there, but on our last day she came bowling into the kitchen carrying six fresh eggs from the farm across the road.
“WHAT ARE THESE?” she asked, barely able to contain to her excitement.
It was obviously a rhetorical question.
“Errrr eggs?” I said.
“YES…BUT,” and she paused for dramatic effect as though she were about to reveal the Coca Cola recipe or the location of the lost city of Atlantis, “IF YOU SAT ON THEM FOR A FEW DAYS AND KEPT THEM WARM CAN YOU GUESS WHAT WOULD COME OUT?”
She was almost squeaking with excitement.
I decided to play along.
I said I had no idea.
“CHICKENS. PROPER. LIVE. CHICKENS!” she shook her head as though she couldn’t believe what she was saying, “OUT OF EGGS!”
She then pointed out the window towards the fields, “there is so much weird stuff out there that you have NO idea.”
OK, so perhaps as a family we really REALLY need to spend more time outside.
Here is what you’ve been talking about this week on NappyValleyNet:
HF would love your advice. Her friend is smoking and drinking whilst pregnantand her criticism of this behaviour is affecting their relationship. Can you offer any advice, she asks? (read more)
Battersea Ironsides is an amazing local rugby club (can you tell I’m biased?) andthey have a new sponsor – Rampton Baseley! (read more) That’s a great TRY R.B. and we are so glad you didn’t PASS on this opportunity (see what I did there???)
OM asks how and when you broached the ‘where do babies come from?’ question. Funnily enough, as mine have only just worked out where chickens come from, it’s not a question I’ve had to field! (read more)
UB wonders if she can borrow a Broomwood boater for that obligatory doorstep-first-day-at-school photo? (read more)
Southside Poundland have been fined £100k for a mouse infestation (read more). I wonder how many chocolate bars they’d have to sell to pay the fine? Yes, yes I know it’s one hundred thousand bars I was just trying to be funny.
MrsF has just discovered that she cannot have children. I am so so sorry. She asks if gestational surrogacy might be an option, and if so, where to start? (read more)
O asks if you’ve seen a piece on ITV news about the petition to stop 54 trees being cut down on Tooting Common? (read more)
S would love to know what’s happened to the hand car wash place on West Hill? Have they sudded off somewhere? (read more)
Any grandmas and their grandsons want to be in a BT advert? They’re looking for you! You’ll be recognised everywhere you go and for the rest of your life and strangers will shout out weird stuff in the street but, that aside, it’s an amazing opportunity (read more).
Charlotte Ashenden is a local portrait artist and she’s posted some examples of her stunning work..if you’re thinking Christmas presents….Ok, Ok I mentioned Christmas – sorry! (read more)
Gather your girls for a night of Sushi at Skylark in mid-September. Banish those back to school blues with sushi, cocktails and mini-manis! (read more) They had me at sushi!
Thanks for all your fab suggestions of where to go for cocktails – love the one who recommends her own front room! – we’re starting to pay them visits, so keep them coming! (read more)
The Department of Education has invested in Mandarin like never before and if you’re tempted you can take lessons in SW12 (read more).
Sticking with languages: looking for affordable English language group classes for your au pair or nanny? The Language Web starts its new term on Monday 11th September in Balham! (read more)
And plans are afoot for an au pairs night out tonight! (read more)
The post asking about what you want in a child friendly café has changed tack slightly – can anyone recommend a solicitor who deals with commercial property? Ok, maybe not slightly, maybe totally! (read more)
N would love a recommendation for a lactation consultant (read more).
Last few places left on the next Nurturing Mums five week postnatal course on Northcote Road (read more).
M is new to the area and has asked for a marriage counsellor recommendation(read more).
T would like recommendations for thread vein removal (read more).
S is suffering from pain in the arch of her feet. Who should she see? (read more)
E would love to find a live-in au pair or mother’s help for their 18 month old daughter (read more).
L is looking for a live-in nanny/housekeeper to work near Clapham Junction (read more)
N is looking for a family for a nanny share in the Wandsworth Common/Balham area (read more).
L’s five year old son would love to do some dance classes but not ballet. Any recommendations? (read more) Oooh, I LOVE Billy Elliot! Oh. NOT ballet.
Brilliant news about Oscar the cat who went missing in the Heaver Estate – he’s back home! Happy days (read more).
And staying with pets, M is looking for a kennel or someone who would be happy to look after her chi tzu for a week soon. And the first person to crack a joke about having to pick up it’s chitzu and put it in a bag is banned for life! (read more)
E is looking for someone to come to help with homework on Fridays in the Heaver Estate (read more).
R is a local teacher available for evening babysitting and…wait for it…she can help with homework! (read more)
Looking for a new challenge? We have more “Sits Vac” than Nappy Valley has parents relieved to see their children back to school!
Madid is looking for an Assistant Company Secretary – ICSA qualified (read more). LD is on the lookout for a Team Assistant for a Finance & Development Team in Private Equity (read more). E is a local dog walker wanting to hang out with your four-legged friends (read more). There’s a temporary admin role in an office near Clapham Junction for the end of September (read more). A PA/office manager is needed in Fulham (read more). Finally, E would love to find a live-in au pair or mother’s helpfor their 18 month old daughter (read more).
We have more activities posts than Nappy Valley has children wishing it were still the holidays!
Monkey Music has not one but two great offers to get the autumn term off to a musical start (read more). Tara Theatre in Earlsfield is opening Tara Cinema and they’re showing La La Land for parents and babies soon! Can I borrow one? (read more) If you’d like yours to be magic on the flute, a teacher has posted availability (read more). There are new after-school French language classes in the heart of SW11 (read more). Any 4 or 5 year olds out there keen on Flamenco?! Here’s how! (read more) Toddler ballet classes are getting underway with the new term on Northcote Road (read more). Teddy’s Tune Time hits Putney so you can have a sing-along with your little ones overlooking the river (read more). Let’s Act have a few more spaces in their LAMDA classes after school on Tuesdays (read more). Eddie Catz Earlsfield has a new Pyjama Drama class for 2-3 year olds which you can try for free – nada – zilch! (read more). Looking for baby massage or baby yoga? There are some new courses getting underway soon at The Northcote (read more). And if you need to get back into an exercise regime after the long summer break, Open Air Fit are making the most of the open air on Wandsworth Common with early bird sessions, circuits and women’s football (read more).
We have more schools posts than Nappy Valley has teachers wishing it were still the holidays!
The Independent Schools Show comes to Battersea Park again in November and you can get your free tickets right here (read more). M would love to know your thoughts on Bolingbroke Academy’s first ever GCSE results? (read more). C wants to know if you’d go for Ark Academy in Putney or the West London Free school? (read more). NY would love your feedback on Wandsworth Prep (read more). F is a young, experienced primary school teacher ready to tutor Key Stage 1 and 2 (read more). C is looking for recommendations of nurseries in the Balham/Hyde Farm area for her 15 month old (read more). M is looking for playgroups near Battersea Parkfor an 18 month old (read more)
And now we’re back to school, our friends at LGT Vestra have put together some great advice on how to plan for your little ones financial future (read more). I know of a few people who are confused about student debt repayments so this is invaluable – thanks!
We have more House and Garden questions than Nappy Valley has commuters wishing it were still the holidays!
CDS11 is thinking of spending BIG on new sash windows. Any recommendations? Keep them closed when it rains – that’s my recommendation! (read more) The ES has published a guide to Living in Battersea, including details on the regenerated power station (read more). J asks how you go about appealing a planning application refusal (read more). Some interesting details and advice about the dreaded Japanese knotweed (read more). TM request for an oven cleaning company has produced lots of shiny ovens! (read more). D is looking for an excellent tiler (read more). H would love a damp proofing recommendation (read more). If you’re looking for a carpenter, a builder has recommended one – praise indeed! (read more)
And here are you for sale and wanted posts!
For sale: a brand new unopened Sage Creatista Plus Nespresso Coffee Machine (read more). a Nuna Sena Travel Cot (read more). a red Didicar (read more). Two tickets for La Boheme at The Royal Opera House (read more)
Wanted: an Islabike Beinn 26 small (read more). a moses basket (read more). a camera for Summer Infant Baby Touch Plus monitor (read more).
Phew, that’s it, have a fabby week
Annabel and the NappyValleyNet team
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