I slapped my husband – advice please. Local resident discounts for Winterville? Lots of Mother-in-laws not invited for Xmas

Last Updated on : 5th November 2017

Dear NappyValleyNetter,

We’re currently negotiating with our youngest over the possibility of a new pet.

She wants a horse, I want a hamster and we’ll probably settle somewhere in between.

Well that’s what I thought until discussions took a decidedly weird twist last week.

My daughter announced that she’d settle for a smaller animal but only the condition that she could choose the name.

And if we refused her that name then she could have another, larger, animal.

So when she promised that the name wasn’t rude or silly I agreed.

Big mistake.

Because my daughter has been practicing talking to her yet-to-be-purchased pet and judging by the carnage she’s causing she’ll soon be needing a bridle.

Rather cunningly, she’s insisting on calling the little rodent Alexa-Siri, which as I’m sure you know, are “wake” words for pretty much half of the world’s phones and home assistants

“ALEXA-SIRI you cute little hamster,” boomed my youngest all weekend.

“I don’t understand the command hamster – sorry,” replies an Amazon voice closely followed by a chorus of similarly confused iPhones.

And then by a wailing Mr NVN…”Will someone just buy her a bl**dy horse!”

Here’s what you’ve been talking about on NappyValleyNet…

NSG wants some advice. She slapped her husband, the police were called and now she’s worried an earlier incident involving social services will be revisited (read more).

Dreadful news: a seven year old girl has been murdered in SW19 and an adult male arrested in connection with the crime. It goes without saying are thoughts are with the poor victim, her family and friends (read more).

That “secret to a happy open marriage” blog has now “gone private” (read more).I’ve been asked SO many times if a) I know the identity of the swinging scribe? and b) if I’ll share it? Answers to both questions are NO!

A new river bus service is launching at Battersea Power Station (read more). I LOVE the idea of a river bus. It feels so New York. I’ve always envisaged myself commuting to work whilst floating down the Thames. Which wouldn’t really work as I write at the kitchen table .

J would love your creative minds to help come up with something entertaining for her mum’s 70th (read more). A riverboat trip? Or Go Ape? I think that covers both ends of the activity spectrum.

Spar on Northcote Road is closing, write JTC (read more). , Raj. is clearing out his stock so do pop along and say goodbye to one of the road’s longest serving shopkeepers!

Winterville is coming to Clapham Common – any idea how to get hold of the discounted tickets for local residents, asks NQ? (read more).

Sticking with the common, T. has seen male PTs having a wee in the trees near the Bowling Green Café and asks if it’s legal? (read more).

Last week one user asked if they can duck out of having the mother-in-law for Christmas? A lot of people are having similar thoughts!(read more)

D needs some help coming up with Christmas present ideas to take to Italy (read more). How about the previous posters M.I.L.?

Northcote Road Christmas Fair is looking for raffle prizes to support Ickle Pickles(read more). Can you raffle a M.I.L.?

The Clapham Dyslexia group are meeting soon for an informal get together (read more).

C would love to know which bike you’d recommend for a five year old? (read more).

Wash Doctors visited NappyValleyNet this week and we love our shiny new wheels! (read more)

S has posted a petition to urge Network Rail to clean up Balham Bridge (read more). I wonder if Wash Doctors do bridges as well as cars?

Treat yourself to a trip to Sloane Square tomorrow for the Empty Wardrobe’s Christmas Market.  I love that name. Yes, it is empty. Shop I will! (read more).

Hmm I may have sounded a little Yoda-like in the previous post. Normal service is resumed… J. wants to learn how to use a sewing machine? Sew she will (read more).

I’m sorry but I think the previous joke is one of my funniest ever. SEW/SO? Geddit? The NCT is holding one of its Returning to Work Workshops later this month so if you’re maternity leave is nearing its end you might want to go along (read more).

2K’s post on teenagers, mobiles and nighttime has got you all sharing your thoughts (read more).  Please keep all comments kind and friendly!

Nife is Life have written a piece on the huge variety of pasta shapes so if you want the low-down on this much-loved staple take a look pronto! (read more).

Football at Burntwood continues on Saturdays for boys and girls who love the beautiful game (read more).

Amanda’s Action Club is back on Thursdays at Skylark (read more). We LOVE Amanda!

Do your little ones have green fingers? Assuming they’re not Muppet’s then a free after-school children’s gardening and craft club could be fun! (read more).

Open Air Fit are starting their popular early bird classes once again (read more)

M is looking for an entertainer or magician to captivate a gang of 8 year old’s in Pizza Express! (read more)

There’s a new fun French playgroup coming to a neighbourhood near you from January. Tres Bien! (read more)


We more Travel posts than November the 5th has sparklers!

D would like to buy her cousin a travel voucher as a thank you.  Do they exist? (read more) M&M is thinking summer and would love villa recommendations for Italy, Mallorca and Menorca. I can just feel the warmth…(read more).  Travel Designers in Balham has posted a ‘save the date’ for Christmas cocktails and canapés and the chance to win a £1000 Kuoni voucher! (read more).


We have more Schools posts than November the 5th has rockets!

LB wonders what the 7+ Kings interview might entail? (read more) SF is looking for Heathbrook mums (read more). C does Christmas cakes and would love to sell her bakes at your school’s Christmas fair (read more).  G is looking for ad hoc early morning drop-off at Allfarthing kind of help (read more).  R needs help picking up her children from school in Balham once a week (read more)  SW’s post asking about experiences of the bilingual stream at Wix has brought up a few other ideas (read more).  P is new to the area and would love your nursery recommendations in the Clapham Old Town area (read more).  Allfarthing Primary School has some Open Mornings coming up soon (read more).  And so does Ravenstone Primary (read more).  T is looking for an after school French tutor (read more).


We have more Situations Vacant than November the 5th has bonfires!

Are you an experienced PA? Want to work in a creative publishing agency in SW11? (read more). If you can use WordPress then there is a volunteer position just for you! (read more). An Administration Assistant is needed urgently in Balham (read more). NCT Clapham & District are looking for volunteers (read more). JM is searching for a Housekeeping Porter for SW12 (read more).


We have more House & Garden posts than November the 5th has Catherine Wheels

Z has had a bad survey including damp, movement and potentially evil tree. What to do? Sounds like something out of Stranger Things! (read more). S needs a company who specialising in underpinning – a manhole cover may be to blame (read more). B wants a recommendation for a professional gardener to look after a communal garden (read more).  M is looking for someone to replace double glazed sash windows (read more).  R asked for architect recommendations and there are lots of them! (read more).  M is mid-renovation and needs their bay window structure rebuilt.  Any ideas who to call? (read more).  S has had a builder recommended for their extension and wonders if anyone has used them and happy to give feedback? (read more) And F has another company in mind and would love your thoughts (read more).  S has a 2-bedroom flat in SW12 available for a short term let in January (read more).  There’s a Christmas wreath workshop on Battersea Park Road with Borough Wines in early December (read more). You had me at wine!


It’s totally free to post your for sale, wanted and recycling adverts!


Lots for sale this week!

A much-loved antique piano is looking for a new place to call home (read more).  SpringFree trampoline (read more).  Islabike in purple/pink (read more).  VW Golf GTI (read more).  Two-seat sofa from DFS (read more).  A never used Boots Tens machine (read more).  And a Moses basket if you’re approaching the post Tens machine stage! (read more).



Baby girl winter clothes 6-12 months (read more).  Electric piano with weighted keys (read more).  A footmuff for cosy toes (read more).




Phew, That’s it, have a fabby week!







Annabel and the NappyVAlleyNet team

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