“Based on your total calories you are most likely not eating enough.”
MR NVN frowned whilst reading out the message on his phone.
“This can’t be right,” he said, “my exercise and nutrition app is telling me that I need to eat more and yet I’ve actually been pretty greedy this week.”
He had a point.
For the last few days all we’d been hearing about was this fancy tracker which was going to be a quick route to a new him, but it didn’t seem to be curtailing his eating habits in the slightest, quite the opposite in fact.
“But the new me is not a quitter,” he continued, “so I’m going to follow their advice to the letter.
He snuck out a hand towards a open packet of chocolate Hob Nobs on the kitchen table before my eldest asked to see his phone.
“Step away from the biscuits,” he said, “let me check the settings first.”
He played with the phone for a moment before handing it back.
“You’ve only been booking your breakfast and unless your office has moved to Slough your overstating how much you cycling you do every day.”
“Based on your total calories you need to consider eating less or exercising more,” read out a suddenly very glum Mr NVN.
And the rest of the family now know exactly how Eeyore would sound if he found a nutrition app in the 100 acre wood.
Here is what you’ve been talking about on NVN!:
A Chelsea doctor has been suspended after claims he gave dangerous autism treatment to children (read more).
M2M has posted that Wandsworth has the 5th highest parking fine income with over £30m! (read more). Wow! Well done! I bet no-one begrudges the council that money and we’re all hoping they make first place next year!
A talent agency has asked if you have any budding stars in your brood?
(read more). Child stars always seem to grow into such well-adjusted and grounded adults so I’m sure this is just a win-win situation!
This is a brilliant question! Mtc would love your suggestions for “activities in London off the beaten path”? (read more) Hmm…Birmingham Bull Ring Centre? It’s WAY off the beaten path and I bet few people in London have been recently.
A few of you are looking for a taxi company which is great with children and has children’s car seats. As Vanessa Paradis would sing “Joe Le Taxi…” (read more)
RM is looking for help sewing labels onto uniform and mending a few things – it’s that time of year again! And soon it will be Christmas and I can almost smell the Easter Bunny! (read more).
UTWT’s post asking for your thoughts on a child-friendly café has really taken off. Chateaubriand and Foie Gras were, unsurprisingly, not a requirement (read more).
CAA tells us all about her portraits of children, adults, animals, houses and she’s a local too! She doesn’t paint pictures OF locals – I mean she lives around here as opposed to being a pub painter! (read more).
Lots of advice and recommendations on P’s post looking for a marriage counsellor. Thank you everyone! (read more).
Most of you will be aware that A Level results came out last week. Some parents are concerned that a number papers were deliberately marked down (read more) When replying please be aware that this is sensitive subject for many parents. So please can we keep this discussion respectful and polite!
CMB is after recommendations for where to get jewellery valued for insurance purposes (read more).
M17 has a brand new baby – congratulations! – and would love some help with breastfeeding (read more).
WM is after gastroenterologist recommendations preferably around Harley Street (read more).
B’s post about learning sign language has generated a few ideas (read more).
There’s a pop-up shop at Skylark soon – Hullaballo Prints will be selling their whimsical prints of muslins, swaddles and cute clothing for ages 0 to 3 (read more).
Nurturing Mums have more of their popular postnatal courses starting in September in Battersea, Balham and Earlsfield for new mums and babies, and they’re getting booked up fast! (read more)
We have more activities posts than children have back-to-school blues!
Did you know The Exhibit shows films for parents and little ones under one in their super-comfy cinema twice a day. Love it! (read more). There’s are cautionary tales for children at the Battersea Power Station Festival later this week which sound very very funny (read more). And the same talent is back in the evening with comedy for the grown-ups (read more). Starting with the end-of-summer blues? Why not gather your girlfriends and book a night out at Sushi at Skylark in mid-September. Sushi, cocktails, pop-up nail bar and goodie bag. Say no more. (read more). Paint Write Nowholds weekly art classes in Wimbledon for 6 to 12 year olds with a new term getting underway soon (read more). Jo has posted details of a 6-week long Cook’s Certificate in Food & Wine which starts in September. Perfect for a gap year or to indulge your love of cooking! (read more). U is looking for an art group for a 4 year old (read more).
We have more education posts than the Faroe Islands have sunglasses!
We’ve had a bumper crop of A Level results from a heap of local schools. We’ve only published the ones we’ve been sent so if you know of more please do ping them in our direction: Alleyn’s (read more), JAGS (read more), Streatham & Clapham (read more), Sydenham High School (read more), Trinity School (read more), Whitgift School (read more) Emanuel School (read more), and Wimbledon High School(read more). TeamCamp Educational and Bonas MacFarlane are running a week-long day camp before the end of the holidays for children with pre-tests, interviews and examinations in mind, mixing academic work with sports, games and drama (read more). Wandsworth Prep has put together a ‘Top 10 tips for starting school with a smile’ for any of you with little ones about to take that first step into big school (read more). B has a daughter starting in reception at Henry Cavendish in September and would love to touch base with anyone else out there starting at the same time (read more). D is considering moving to Thurleigh Road but would it guarantee them a place at Honeywell or Belleville? (read more). Oops. One school posted its pupils’ A Level results a day early last week! (read more).
Looking for a new challenge? We have more “Sits Vac” than puppies have stroppy teenage years (it’s true!)
St George’s, University of London is looking for a volunteer with an interest in research (read more). D wants to recruit an au-pair or nanny in the Clapham South area to help with their son who starts school in September (read more). R needs a live-in nanny for a role in Earlsfield (read more). S has recently moved to ‘Between the Commons’ and is looking for a housekeeper/cleaner 3 mornings a week (read more). Party planners based in Clapham North are looking for an uber-organised person to join their small team as office manager. Includes regular cake tastings! (read more). An experienced after school nanny is needed in Putney (read more).
We have more House and Garden questions than Big Ben will have missing bongs!
You know those lovely people at Jo Alexander? Well they have ANOTHER outdoor furniture pop up sale over the bank holiday weekend just off Northcote Road! (read more) SF’s post about needing a house for a lifestyle shoot has got a few replies from homeowners whose houses sound in better shape than mine at this stage of the summer holidays! (read more). Speaking of which, JC has posted about her new business designed to help you declutter or prepare for house renovations (read more). Remember L who posted about a leaking pipe beneath tiled concrete? I felt their pain. They’ve found the problem (yay!) but now need builder recommendations to do some digging to reach it (ugh) (read more). M is looking for somebody to clear guttering who also knows about damp (read more). RP asks if anyone has had their shutters painted and if so, who did you use? (read more). RM has a 3-bedroom flat in Putney available to rent (read more). TF needs somebody to remove rubble rubbishfrom the back garden. Any ideas? (read more). SW’s post about building into the loft of a leasehold flat has garnered lots of advice (read more). GW Cabinetry has posted a photo of some stunning alcoves they worked on recently for a local client (read more). P would welcome some advice from a conveyancer – any recommendations? (read more). M would love a local recommendation for bay window repairs (read more).
And here are you for sale and wanted posts!
For Sale: an Ocean cot and chest of drawers (read more). A fun giraffe print bean bag and cushions (read more). Three dark wood chairs (read more) A brand new sleeveless floral dress (pretty!) (read more)
Wanted: Baby Bjorn (read more) and an Isla Rothan balance bike (read more).
Phew, that’s it, have a fabby week
Annabel and the NappyValleyNet team