On Saturday evening my mother-in-law was babysitting my little ones plus my (much younger) niece.
Snacks were prepared, bedtimes agreed and the only missing link was the evening’s entertainment – normally a cue for my children to argue violently about which movie to watch.
My M-I-L, seizing the initiative, scrolled through the menu and suggested a film about a “cute talking bear” which, to my surprise, my two happily agreed.
In hindsight, at this point, a red flag should have appeared accompanied by a klaxon alongside by a massive sign warning “BUT YOUR CHILDREN NEVER AGREE ON MOVIES” but I was in a hurry and wanted to believe this time was different.
And it was different, but not in the way I was expecting.
On our return we were greeted by the two elder children giggling uncontrollably whilst a confused looking niece sat next to a shell shocked MIL.
“They would NEVER have allowed children to watch a movie like that in my day” hissed my MIL.
And she was right.
But they also don’t really let children watch movies “like that” today.
The talking bear was, as I’m sure you’ve now guessed, called TED and, if you are ever planning to watch this funny, rude and very very sweary movie, please first make sure your children are in bed.
Here’s the rest of what you’ve been talking about on NappyValleyNet…
FF wants to warn us all about moped muggings (read more). One poor NVN’er had a bag snatched in SW12 by two-wheeled thieves. Sticking to a crime theme, SR is a new Youth Sergeant with Wandsworth Police and she’s posted to say hello (read more).
DQ thinks she might be starting an ’emotional affair’. Is she in too deep already? (read more) And this was really weird, a private detective saw these posts and offered their services! Hmm a slight over-reaction methinks! (read more).
N’s post about “whether to take a job if you know you are pregnant’ with number two has had a huge response. No clear cut answer though (read more)
B wants to know what happened to the much-loved toys by the tennis courts on Clapham Common? (read more)
C’s asked for advice on how to stop yelling at her kids and lots of you have responded, thank you (read more).
BB has more details from the point of view of local residents to the new development on Nightingale Lane (read more).
S wants to know if anyone owns a Thermomix? (read more) I’m REALLY interested in these – although they are super expensive!
CG has posted about a new mother and baby group for an E4 TV programme (read more). If you want to appear on national TV when you are at your most exhausted and emotionally vulnerable then do get in touch.
SLD wants to know how noisy it is living near the railway tracks in Balham? (read more) I SAID HOW NOISY IS IT…
A is looking for a pub kitchen to host her supper clubs (read more). To paraphrase Jerry McGuire, you had me at Supper Club!i
SH asks if any charities would be interested in spare boxes of tampons? (read more)
SLD is considering a move from Dulwich to Balham or Wandsworth Common but asks can 800k-900k buy what he wants? (read more)
J asks who is the best dry cleaner on Northcote Road? (read more)
W tells us about a new shop opening on Garratt Lane (read more). Oooh a CashConverters right next to a Chicken Cottage that sounds ideal. OK, OK I was joking!!!
Skylark have a date for your diary post-summer! Gather your girlfriends and head to their third Sushi at Skylark in conjunction with Secret Spa. Botanical cocktails are also involved (read more). I. Cannot. Wait!
Our friends at First Aid for Life have posted some crucial reading – Seven Top Tips to keep you and your family safe over the summer (read more). And they’re running one of their 3-hour Emergency courses this Thursday as well as plenty of other dates throughout the summer (read more).
If you want a taste of Italy this summer without the journey, then this online deli sounds ideal (read more) Mr NVN is convinced Dominos is the authentic taste of Italy, I may use peeps to disabuse him of that notion.
Work from home in the Earlsfield area? Then you might be interested to hear about a new workspace from the team at Ben’s Canteen (read more). And you could have their famous Scotch Eggs every day for lunch. They are amazing.
P has posted about a children’s charity at Chelsea & Westminster selling children’s clothes – they’d love to find a local fair or two to sell their wares (read more).
YM has found a green scooter with a pink strap outside her house on Wisley Road– is it yours (loving the colour scheme!)? (read more)
G’s post about wanting to meet other au-pairs has taken off. We love a get together! (read more)
We’ve been busy visiting some of your favourite local cafés and you sure have good taste (not that that was in any doubt…)! Thanks to so many of them who generously offered free coffees (read more).
C is new to the area and looking for a paediatrician or children’s GP recommendation (read more).
B asks what you do with all the artwork, photos and school mementos that your children bring home? (read more)
WM would like advice on how many after school clubs are sensible and how soon to start? (read more)
S has posted a survey asking what you’re looking for in the ultimate baby changing bag! (read more)
Don’t miss our new collection of fabby summer competitions and offers including buy one place and get one free on the FirstAidforPets.net 23rd July course (read more).
We have more travel posts than Mike Ashley has had pub crawls!
BM asks how to do Glastonbury in style? Let’s call that #glastoposh (read more). T needed help to rearrange her holiday for five at the last minute and you all came up with a ton of ideas – thank you! (read more). Gitcombe Country Cottages in Devon areoffering 10% off for families with pre-schoolers in September (read more). You’re all still singing the praises of glorious Italy! (read more) O is off to Phuket and wants to know where to stay with young children in the Khao Sok National Park? (read more). Looking ahead to chillier times, Ski Famille are running a ‘kids go free at Christmas’ offer. More for Santa to spend on pressies then! (read more)
Looking for a new role? We have more job vacancies than SPAM has tin cans!
The Language Web is looking for a new part-time teacher based in Balham from September (read more). There’s a part-time HR and Admin Assistant role in Belgravia (read more). And an Interior Design Club Manager role involving marketing, events, PR and design (read more). If you have skills in finance do you have time to help a local charity? (read more) J is a Balham nanny available now – school holiday help, anyone? (read more) And T is a Battersea nanny available now too! (read more). C’s work situation has changed and she has to let her nanny go. She’s brilliant apparently! Anyone need someone? (read more) CSW is looking for a part time nanny over in Mortlake (read more). AM is looking for an after school nanny from the end of August in SW4 (read more). E is an Italian au-pair looking for a new role in the area from August (read more).
We have more activities than Philip Green has concerns about his daughter’s new boyfriend!
Eddie Catz has oodles of fun, activities and workshops in Earlsfield, Putney and Wimbledon over the holidays (read more). Yellowbird Education is running handwriting lessons in Clapham and Fulham (read more). CLGC has Junior Golf Summer Camps down on Burntwood Lane. FORE! (read more). R would love to find a local basketball club for his 9-year-old daughter (read more). SW wants to find a private yoga teacher(read more). LP has posted about French immersion holiday camps in Wimbledon (read more). Alice in Wonderland is on this summer in Brockwell Park and Streatham Common Rookery. Outdoor theatre for the over 5s (read more). Got any budding spies in your gang with a creative streak? They’ll love Eye Spy Animation on Wandsworth Common (read more).
We have more schools questions than Jacob Rees Mogg has strange children’s names
Alleyn’s U12 cricketers co-ed team has just won the London Cup – congratulations! (read more). R has posted that her daughter is registered at Northcote House but has read that their Ofsted rating has changed (read more). S’s request for thoughts on Swaffield has got lots of replies which have really helped – thank you! (read more) A bit of a debate on the need for tutoring for the Wandsworth Test (read more). If you have older children you might be interested to hear about Bonas MacFarlane’s new summer tune-up courses in preparation for the Medicine, Oxbridge and Law admission tests (read more). SLD asks whether we can measure catchment distance ourselves using the council’s official figures? Tape measures at the ready (read more). E is looking for tutoring recommendations (read more).
We have more House & Garden queries than Bernie Ecclestone has son-in-law concerns!
Landmark are doing something amazing with loft conversions. 14 days! Yup you read that right! (read more). SWN is planning a total refurb. Who would you recommend using? (read more) We posted news that Wandsworth tops the table of borrowing in the country with £472m of new lending in 2016 alone (read more). FLH his looking for a place to rent for her family of five plus their little dog for August and September (read more). B would love your thoughts on Smart heating – Evohome, Nest and Hive (read more). T is singing the praises of her reliable cleaner/housekeeper (read more). B has not had a good experience with her new sash windows, but SK has! (read more) TG is a recent Northcote-Road-based graduate available as an errand-runner, house-sitter and dog-walker (read more). R has posted about a one-bed flat to rent just three minutes from Southside. Oooh, the shopping! (read more) L has a 2-bed flat to rent right by Wandsworth Common. Oooh, the great outdoors! (read more) C is looking for a company to manage the whole build including party walls and structural engineers (read more). CMR would love recommendations for bi-fold door companies (read more). D is taking out their old/used kitchen but it’s still in great condition – know of a company that buys kitchens?! (read more)
It’s totally free to post your for sale, wanted and recycling adverts!
JT has two tickets for Robert Glasper at Somerset House next week which he can no longer use (read more). F has a white Ikea canopy double bed available just off Northcote Road (read more) M is selling a blue Isla bike (read more). E has a large bundle of boys’ designer clothes for 4 to 10 year olds (read more).
Phew, that’s it, have a fabby week
Annabel and the NappyValleyNet team
PS don’t forget you can now register or log in to NappyValleyNet using your Facebook, Twitter or Linkedin account.