Postby Sunshine_State » Tue Jan 10, 2017 12:09 pm
Our au pair found out this morning that her uncle passed away suddenly and unexpectedly today. I obviously asked if she wants to go home for the funeral, but as it involves two flights, the funeral is first thing tomorrow, and she only came back to the Uk on Saturday after Xmas, she doesn't want to attempt it.
She's headed out to see her best friend, who lives some distance away, for the day, and I suggested her friend could stay here tonight, or she stays at hers, but she's insisting she just wants a few hours to chat and then wants to help with the kids as usual after school, as it will keep her mind off things to stay 'in routine'. I think the news hasn't sunk in yet and she has some tough months ahead of her as they're a close family and there were two other family deaths when she was au pairing elsewhere last year.
She spends most evenings in her room (seems to be her preference, we've always made it clear she's welcome to join us/do her own thing as she prefers, and she occasionally does come downstairs for the evening or go out to meet a friend, but more often Skypes friends/family). I was working up to suggesting she tries to go out and about a bit more anyway, but I'm now worried that spending so much time alone in one room will be really bad for her state of mind.
I can't force her to spend more time with us in the evenings or to make some more friends (she's been happy enough until now but strangely unbothered about meeting people her age), but will try to persuade her to do both. I'm not sure what else to do though - we know a good local counsellor, so was thinking of asking if she wants us to arrange a session? Any advice from someone who's been through similar would be appreciated.