How to split inheritance?

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Wheresmyschool?
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How to split inheritance?

Postby Wheresmyschool? » Wed Oct 12, 2016 2:33 pm

Hi
I think I need the wisdom of Solomon for this one:

I have two cousins of the same ish age and the three of us are in line for an inheritance from am elderly great aunt.

The amount is significant (just seven figures) and even though I feel we should be grateful its causing a rift with my other family members.

We are all of a similar age with different numbers of children. One of us has five children, the other one, I'm somewhere in between and the one with five is putting massive pressure on my elderly relative to split it "equally" between these children.

So the cousin with five kids wants it split equally between all the children and the one with one says that's unfair.

Our children are all like grandchildren to my great aunt, so I can understand that it may seem a little odd for some to disproportionally benefit but my cousin with one child says this is all irrelevant as the money is being bequeathed to the three of us and not to our children (and she's right).

Anyone else had this? How did you deal with it?

Thank you for any advice it's causing real ructions
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twomonkeys
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Re: How to split inheritance?

Postby twomonkeys » Wed Oct 12, 2016 3:11 pm

I think it's simple. Your Great Aunt wishes the money to come to you three, not the next generation. The number of children has no bearing. What if one cousin had no children! Would they receive no inheritance?

What your cousin chooses to do with her money is her business if and when she receives it.
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pie81
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Re: How to split inheritance?

Postby pie81 » Wed Oct 12, 2016 5:18 pm

Seems very simple to me too - it's being left to the three cousins (not the next generation), it should be split equally three ways.

Doesn't the will make it clear though? Or if your great aunt is still alive - surely it's up to her to decide, not you/your cousins?
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TFP
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Re: How to split inheritance?

Postby TFP » Wed Oct 12, 2016 11:50 pm

I assume that the will hasn't been finalised - if it has then the will should be the will, no questions asked.

I suppose it boils down to whether this money is being left to OP's generation or to the one below it. If the former then it's clear that the money goes three ways, if the latter then it should go (5+1+x) ways.

It's by far the most common thing to leave pretty much everything to the generation immediately below you but of course the person who's will it is might decide against this e.g. If (s) he is particularly close to the generation that's two rungs below or if perhaps the generation that's one rung below is particularly old and/or prosperous relative to the younger one.

A mild compromise I suppose might be to split the money four ways, a quarter each for the three cousins and the remaining quarter to be split equally between their kids.
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southoftheriver
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Re: How to split inheritance?

Postby southoftheriver » Thu Oct 13, 2016 8:19 am

Get pregnant ASAP and hope for triplets
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misstemple
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Re: How to split inheritance?

Postby misstemple » Thu Oct 13, 2016 10:50 am

TFP wrote: A mild compromise I suppose might be to split the money four ways, a quarter each for the three cousins and the remaining quarter to be split equally between their kids.
This is a very gracious solution, I would never have thought of it.

At the same time, take note that pushy people thrive on getting an inch. I also suspect any compromise might be too late now damage is being done between the cousins!

In a similar situation, someone in my family stood firm and made sure no-one was steamrolled, even though he personally didn't care about the money (it wasn't a lot), so think carefully about doing what is right, i.e. your Great Aunt's wishes.

Good luck, & let us know how it goes.
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TFP
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Re: How to split inheritance?

Postby TFP » Thu Oct 13, 2016 2:03 pm

It isn’t exactly the same at all but my partner and I have a will that specifies what we want to happen to our [very modest] estate should the worst happen to both of us and to our children as well.

We want to leave everything to our siblings because our parents aren’t getting any younger and, frankly I suppose, as babyboomers they will enjoy housing and pensions that aren’t in any way commensurate with their lifetime achievements.

My partner has 3 siblings, I have only 1. We did have about a one-minute conversation about whether each sibling should be getting a quarter of the estate before quickly realising that this wouldn’t be right at all given that we’re equal owners of the estate etc. What we specified in the end was half to my brother and half to DP’s father to distribute amongst his kids.
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IrenaP
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Re: How to split inheritance?

Postby IrenaP » Thu Oct 13, 2016 5:48 pm

If it indeed is divided among the children, request that a trust is created so that the funds cannot be accessed until the children are 18. This will prevent abuse among the adults - unfortunately it does happe- but also prevent abuse among the children. My cousin came into a large amount of money and spent it all when he was a teenager.
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dudette
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Re: How to split inheritance?

Postby dudette » Mon Oct 17, 2016 9:08 am

I really think that it's up to the aunt what she does with her money and it's very unfortunate that your cousin is putting pressure on her.

My personal view is that a third of the money should go to each family regardless of which generation inherits so that if it's the second generation that inherits the only child gets a third and the five children each get a fifteenth. Why should the only child suffer a loss because her cousin once removed had five kids? A friend of mine has shares in a family company - he is one of four and had two cousins (who are siblings), so he only had half as many shares as each of his cousins as they had to be split four ways.

Don't forget to factor in inheritance tax in your calculations.
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Jonquil
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Re: How to split inheritance?

Postby Jonquil » Mon Oct 17, 2016 12:15 pm

In my aunt's Will, her estate was divided between my two children and my brother who had no children. I was not included which I was fine about. She died when they were early adults and needed the money for university etc. Whilst it was great for my children, my brother (or most likely his wife) has always considered this grossly unfair. It really was NOT a good way to do it. It should have been split between my brother and I and then if I chose to pass on to my children, that would have been my choice. I tell this story as the fondness great aunts often have for great nieces and nephews can inadvertently lead them to decisions that cause bad feelings among their nieces and nephews longer term.
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firsttimerSW11
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Re: How to split inheritance?

Postby firsttimerSW11 » Mon Oct 17, 2016 10:14 pm

The cousin with the 5 kids is being ridiculous. It was her choice to have 5 children. It should be split 3 ways in terms of fairness although fundamentally it should divid d exactly how the great aunt sees fit. Incidentally of my 2 siblings and I, I am reasonably well off, one less so but with the capacity to be and the 3rd sibling has less money and fewer prospects than myself and my other sibling. My parents have always said that irrespective of how much wealth we have (or don't have) and how many children, they would divide their estate equally between us. It causes fewest problems among the recipients, is their argument and I'm inclined to agree with that view.
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magnificentseven
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Re: How to split inheritance?

Postby magnificentseven » Tue Oct 18, 2016 2:32 pm

Its pointless speculating about what to do - the Will will state what to do. The only way it can be changed is to do a Deed of Variation and you will have to agree this if the amount you are going to get is less (or more) than what the will says. If the money goes to you both (not your children) your sister can do a Deed of Variation to give her portion to her children, buy you would have to agree to any changes to your portion. See a solicitor if need be.
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aguapazza
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Re: How to split inheritance?

Postby aguapazza » Tue Oct 18, 2016 5:17 pm

It's a sad fact but wills and money always seem to bring out the worst in people.

It is somewhat impertinent of the cousin with five children to demand that your Great Aunt changes her will because she, the cousin, thinks it unfair. Your GA has chosen to leave her estate to the three of you, not your children. If she had wanted to leave it to them she would have surely done so.

If the will was changed what would happen if, after she died, you or your other cousin had more children - would the one who's moaning now offer to give a proportion to the newest addition?

She should be thankful that she's getting anything - your GA could have left it all to one of many charities!

On a slight tangent - I agree with many of the other posters on parents and wills. Parents should be so careful when writing their wills - equal distribution of the major assets is the way to go. It takes a very strong person to not to equate the share of a parent's estate with the value they think their parent had for him/her.
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meeshter
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Re: How to split inheritance?

Postby meeshter » Thu Oct 20, 2016 1:42 am

Personally this whole topic seems quite weird to me. I hope your aunt ends up with a telegram from The Queen, it sounds like you are all waiting for her to die just because she has lots of money. Please remember this is her money and she has the right to leave it to whoever she pleases. I hope she has lots of fun in the next few years and spends as much as possible enjoying herself with her money. My parents don't have much but I would be totally happy if they spent it all having fun. I have my own job and so does my husband we work to fund our own lifestyle and we are certainly not waiting for someone else to die to fund what we want to do.
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Nims
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Re: How to split inheritance?

Postby Nims » Thu Oct 20, 2016 10:42 am

My great aunt was worth millions but always lived modestly throughout her life. She was never able to have children of her own. She had a Turner painting worth £6m alone which she bequeathed to the British Museum.
When she passed away, she left the whole lot to charity in her will. Her view was that it was never our money in the first place. Total respect.
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