Do I legally need to change my name? Post Reply

[Vanillalatte]

I married 8 years ago and since then have used my maiden name for work-related things and some personal things and my married name for family things to do with the kids, doctors etc. I have bank accounts in both names; my drivers licence in one name and current passport in the other. I need to renew my passport and think for legal reasons I should probably update to my married name. Does anyone know if this is the case? I don't want to stop using my maiden name at work and I do quite like having a two identities!

Does anyone else have this issue? I'd welcome some recommendations on what approaches other people have taken to keep legal but also have the flexibility to use different names.

Thanks.

[wonkymonkey]

Hi there

As I understand it you can legally use either name(but I'm not a lawyer!) You have your marriage certificate as proof if needed. A friend who got married 3 years ago changed her name in her passport but also had an option to state "other names she is known by" so put down her maiden name as she uses it for work. She can theoretically buy tickets in either name but it seems it's such a new system she has had trouble at the airport because staff haven't heard about it. So it would be worth taking your marriage certificate with you in case!

Hope that helps.

[wonkymonkey]

Just to make it confusing - have just read a bit on the web about this and wonder if the two name thing stems from this friend not being British by birth so has dual nationality. It might mean she has more options in the passport.

Sorry, hope I haven't given you false info and false hope! Might be worth investigating or getting a passport application to see if the option does indeed exist.

[LocalBatterseaGirl]

There is no legal requirement to change your name but sometimes you don't want to carry your marriage certificate just to prove you're wed. I'm in the same position - maiden name if it's just to do with me (work, volunteering etc), married name if it's family. I also have bank accounts in both names but I was worried that passport in my maiden name might be a problem if I ever found myself at passport control with a child/children on my own, not that it's not legal but that they could question my relationship with the kids. I contacted the passport office and had my surname changed to my married name but my maiden name added as a middle name - they said it was unusual but agreed as long as I sent all the paperwork. It also means I can use it as ID for either name.

[dudette]

I've just filled in a passport application for my son and noticed the question about using another name which I've not seen before. So definitely worth checking out. I use both my maiden and married names although I generally think of my married name as my official one and my passport and driving licence both have it. If you have kids I think it's helpful to have the same name in your passport as them - I've heard of people being grilled at passport control when they have different names. I can't believe you and I are the only people in Britain with this dilemma - you'd have thought people would have woken up to it by now!

[dewdneyk]

I never changed my name upon marriage and our 2 kids - now 22 and 19 - have different surnames (I got the first, my husband the second). I've never had any problems getting through immigration, setting up bank accounts for them or registering with schools, hospitals etc. Do not, however, try to get a parking permit from Wandsworth Council! This is a whole different league of trouble. Car belonged to my husband, both of us were registered at the address for paying Council Tax, both of us are named on the car insurance and I was paying with a cheque from a joint bank account and they refused to even deal with me until I produced my marriage certificate. Woman behind the counter actually asked me why I hadn't taken my husband's name? I now refuse to deal with them completely and make DH do all the parking admin. Still makes me seethe.

[dancingqueen]

I am in exactly the same position as Vanillalatte - married the same length of time - use my maiden for work and some personal things and married name for all family things. I have bank accounts in both names. I asked my lawyer about it a few years ago, and he said that I have a right to use both names. My marriage certificate giving proof of both.
When my passport ran out about 3 years ago I felt, having children, that I should change it so there could be no concerns when travelling with my children. Although as the previous poster says, there shouldn't be.
However, I have been a bit lapse with my driving licence and thought I ought to get that changed to match my passport but haven't got around to it yet! I have been a bit reluctant in case I need a way of proving my ID when using my maiden name.
The only time I had a problem was with my bank - they were difficult about setting up a joint account in our married names whilst I still had accounts in my married name. I had to push them a bit and I remember saying at the time that I couldn't be the only person in that position!

[AbbevilleMummy]

In the same boat and changed my passport to my married name when it expired this year.

Last year I did have a bit of trouble once when travelling alone with my children and someone on passport control wasn't happy that my name was different to my children. I had never even considered it before. He interrogated my 5 year old to check that I was her mummy and asked her where her daddy was. There was something in the press at the time about a child abduction I think so it was completely understandable.

You never know what the security status of an airport will be or who you will get so rather than leave anything to chance in the future I thought it was best to have the same passport name as my kids.

[dudette]

The point is though that if you do use two names - and plenty of women do as they want the same name as their family but also want to keep their maiden name for work (because people already know them by that name), then it's actually useful to have ID in the two names. If you work from home for instance and then move home you need ID to show the post office so they will re-direct your mail. I'm of the view that society should take account of the perfectly legitimate reasons why women might want to use both names, rather than women have to choose one name in order to 'conform'. I use the name on my passport (i.e. my married name) as my official name and use that for almost everything, but I do keep a credit card in my maiden name which is helpful for ID purposes. The only problem is when people ask my name and I have to stop and think which name I'm using. It looks like I can't remember

[Balhammumwithbabies]

Same here. When I got married I travelled a lot for work, had 2 passports, extra pages in them and lots of multi entry visas which were valid for several more months and flights booked for months later all in my maiden name. It was all too much admin and expense to change it so I kept the passport in my maiden name and changed my driving licence to my married name.
I do think it is very odd that I have photo ID to 'prove' that I am 2 different people and frequently look an idiot when I can't remember which name I have used to book something and whether I've changed it with various organisations.
Having left that job and now at home with 2 kids I think I'll change my name on my passport when it expires and am concerned that I might have issue travelling with the kids alone (highly unlikely to want to take my fidgety pair on a plane on my own at any point in the near future though..). Surely their should be a section on all passports for children with the names of the parents inc. names under which they hold passports?
I think as women develop more of their careers before they get married/ hold more accounts for organisations and social media and generally have more of an ID trail it becomes harder and more hassle to change your name and (hopefully, in my opinion) will die out???

[dudette]

We should use the Spanish system where women keep their names and the kids use both surnames. So Joe Bloggs and Mary Smith's son would be called John Bloggs Smith - he'd generally be known as John Bloggs but on his official documents he'd have both names. By far the most sensible way of doing it. Maybe someone should set up a petition??!

[greybird]

Hello. Like many of you I consider myself my maiden name in my when-it's-just-me life, but Mrs HusbandsSurname for family issues. I didn't want to have to choose one or the other, or be double-barrelled. So for my passport I just tagged on my married name and was told that as long as I could demonstrate that this was how I was known officially (ie bank account, driving licence etc) that was fine, no extra paperwork. My bank accepts payments to me even if only one surname is used; I can be I.D'd by one or the other. To be honest, I mostly use my married name but I just couldn't bear for my birth name to be 'erased'! Or maybe that's just me?!
My husband is French and, when we married and lived there, I was automatically (on my French ID) FirstName MaidenName 'married to' HusbandsSurname (if that makes sense). Much more sensible if you ask me.

[pepper]

You are just making your life so difficult. I changed my name after marriage everywhere and I have no dilemma. In my country before you getting married, you have to declare what name you want to keep. Your name, husband or you can keep your with husband at the end. After marriage you have 3 months to change your passport, driving licence, Id. Otherwise your documents are not legal and you have to pay penalty. So no mess around who is who and where....

[nuttymummy]

Also in the same boat but after 12 years am finally changing everything over. I too enjoyed holding onto both identities (choosing which to go with depending when/where!) but have got to the point where I'm not quite so fussed - so many bigger issues to be concerned with in this world/life. Also it's just a hassle to have to take your marriage certificate with you if your passport is diff surname to your children (was always worried about losing it!) - and I was always asked to provide it. Other than that passport in one name and drivers licence in the other always worked - both forms of irrefutable photo Id. I find the whole 'just go double barrelled' thing a bit funny - keep that going generation upon generation and where will they end up?!... My maiden name was double barrelled and I'm quite pleased to have now simplified it!

[nuttymummy]

Also in the same boat but after 12 years am finally changing everything over. I too enjoyed holding onto both identities (choosing which to go with depending when/where!) but have got to the point where I'm not quite so fussed - so many bigger issues to be concerned with in this world/life. Also it's just a hassle to have to take your marriage certificate with you if your passport is diff surname to your children (was always worried about losing it!) - and I was always asked to provide it. Other than that passport in one name and drivers licence in the other always worked - both forms of irrefutable photo Id. I find the whole 'just go double barrelled' thing a bit funny - keep that going generation upon generation and where will they end up?!... My maiden name was double barrelled and I'm quite pleased to have now simplified it!