Screaming child in back garden

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WimbledonWomble
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Screaming child in back garden

Postby WimbledonWomble » Sun Jun 18, 2017 12:58 pm

GAAAD! There is a child in someone's back garden - toward the railway yard end, either a house in Goodenough Road or Cochrane Road who SCREEEEAAMS and SCREEEEEEEEEAMS all day. Not" happy child playing type"noises, but "being boiled in oil or attacked by bees" type. High pitched, every few minutes and sounds like pure strop/tantrum and this goes on from the morning until as late as 8.45pm!! :twisted:

It is hard to pinpoint exactly where it emanates from as the sound bounces off the walls, otherwise I might pop round an ask the parents to deal with it. It has ruined our usually enjoyable evenings, sitting in our garden and savouring the summer. It is hell to listen to all day long and drives us mad. If this is you or you know who it might be - please be considerate and try to get this SCREEEEEEEEAMING under control.

Polster21
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Re: Screaming child in back garden

Postby Polster21 » Sun Jun 18, 2017 8:21 pm

Hi

Just a thought but have you considered that the child 8n question may have special needs?

I'm afraid to say, I think your post comes across as quite selfish and that you might want to think that you don't know exactly what the situation is here and it may be that your neighbours need support not judgement.

If indeed it is, for example, because the child is autistic then the family do not need your resentment.

If you are worried about the welfare of the child, then I'm sure there are avenues you can explore buy I don't th8mk you should judge without knowing the facts.

Bobityboo
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Re: Screaming child in back garden

Postby Bobityboo » Mon Jun 19, 2017 8:03 am

This was exactly my first thought - perhaps there is a family nearby with a child with special needs.

Esille
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Re: Screaming child in back garden

Postby Esille » Mon Jun 19, 2017 9:47 am

If you think that child is in need (being abused or similar) it's absolutely your duty to report it straight away!

Pitterpat
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Re: Screaming child in back garden

Postby Pitterpat » Mon Jun 19, 2017 12:53 pm

As the original poster in this thread, I can now confirm that the child is most definitely not special-needs nor is the child being abused. Had I suspected that, and been able to locate the house in the first place, of course I would've reported it! The parents have been spoken to by several neighbouring houses all of them are completely fed up with listening to this child screaming day in, day out in the garden. In between times there are sounds of two children playing quite happily, with the usual giggles and chatter. However, every 15 minutes or so she lets rip with this horrendous scream and it is that that the neighbours are fed up with! Today it continues, so clearly polite requests from neighbours have fallen on deaf ears. Meanwhile, despite this beautiful weather I have had to shut the windows and come inside, unable to quietly enjoy my garden.

the parsley song
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Re: Screaming child in back garden

Postby the parsley song » Mon Jun 19, 2017 7:38 pm

How old are the kids and do you know what sort of situation are they living in - social housing or private? I would also hate to listen to that noise. Even with a special needs child you would not expect to hear them screaming for ages. Did you hear anyone trying to help the child get over the screaming? Good luck.

pie81
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Re: Screaming child in back garden

Postby pie81 » Mon Jun 19, 2017 7:51 pm

I would imagine the parents are trying their best to teach the child to stop (after all the noise must be annoying them too!) but if the child is very young there's a limit on what they can do, the child will learn/stop eventually but it won't be instant. What do you expect the parents to do exactly? Lock the child indoors with shut doors (in this heat) until they outgrow this phase?

sw1234
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Re: Screaming child in back garden

Postby sw1234 » Mon Jun 19, 2017 8:18 pm

This is a tricky one and you definitely have my sympathies. However I also have a young one and despite fans etc our kitchen/living area is like a sauna. My toddler is waking at 5 am and by 630/7 am i have to open the doors just so we can all breathe. There's then a screaming fit because she wants to go outside and I feel that it's too early for the poor neighbours. I have resorted to jumping in the air con car with her at the weekend so that she didn't torture the neighbours until 8/8.30 but I'm working during the week so unfortunately my neighbours are having to suffer my strong willed noisy toddler rather early at times. No one has complained yet but I feel terrible! I am interested in people's views because I feel powerless! I know this gets easier as I have an older child too who I can reason with :)

Lindseyj
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Re: Screaming child in back garden

Postby Lindseyj » Mon Jun 26, 2017 6:43 am

Sw1234 I feel for you! I'm in a similar boat my 2 under 4 are up early and ready to rumble at 6.

The original poster needs to remember there are many different neighbours- the party animals with music that doesn't stop until 3am every weekend. The large dog owners who bark non stop. The sports car owner who like to rev.

Just got to go directly to the source and ask them to stop and if they dont ignore or move really!

Sheds
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Re: Screaming child in back garden

Postby Sheds » Mon Jun 26, 2017 9:05 am

Dear Wimbledonwomble

Whilst I feel for you and your situation, may I offer a different perspective that you may or may not find useful?

If you are waiting for the child's screaming to stop, then you remain stuck inside your situation until the child does so.

If you decide to create a better experience for yourself then you are no longer stuck. Here there are no limits. A few ideas: you can go indoors yourself, listen to music through headphones, feel sorry for the parents who have it louder than you, stop focussing on it (when I wanted pallets I saw them everywhere, when I didn't I never saw them - they were still there!), offer to give the parents a break by taking the child to the park, make biscuits/cake to take round to offer friendship and support, think how you might feel in their situation and do what makes sense to you from that... I don't know, there must be things that you can do so that you are no longer troubled by this. Different thinking, different experience.

Nice cup of tea
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Re: Screaming child in back garden

Postby Nice cup of tea » Mon Jun 26, 2017 10:46 am

A new username (for anonymity) and another perspective.

I am Mum to three lovley children who are loved and cherished. From the day he was born my eldest was as rough as a bulldozer, a complete extrovert and larger than life and lots of fun. My middle daughter is a sweet and sensitive soul, a creative, and a screamer. She didn't walk or crawl until she was 2 and had no inclination to do so, didn't bear weight until 18 months and again had no interest in trying. We weren't too concerned, it was obvious she was more a thinker than a mover. However looking back it probably added to her frustration and screaming! Our issues were probably compounded by an open plan living area with bifold doors (I love fresh air and tended to have them open)

My middle child would scream and scream. She wouldn't be soothed and I came to the conclusion that she had to let out her frustration (although the creaming could go in for an hour of more, when not screaming she was a darling!) Meanwhile my eldest was the proverbial bull in a china shop and with a new born baby in the mix, he was frequently being yelled at to calm down for fearing on injuring himself or someone else. While shouting isn't great, with a babe and a non walking toddler in my arms it was the quickest way to intervene and prevent impending catastrophe! I should say here, I'm a pretty laid back person, none of this stressed me, to me it was all part and parcel of family life, not perfect but hey ho. We were and are an incredible happy and blessed family. (Neither I or my husband had a happy childhood so we thank our stars every day for the happiness we have found)

A neighbour put two and two together, added in some bizarre made up stuff (which she may or may not have believed to be true) and reported me to the NSPCC for abusing my newborn. The police arrived at the door on afternoon while I was playing with the baby. They were apologetic, I was utterly horrified. We put it behind us as one of those odd things and a couple of weeks later went on our first, much longed and saved for, family holiday. Whilst abroad I had a call from social services, the same allegations of abuse. After a chat, they confirmed they had no concerns. However the bottom fell out of my world. Holiday forgotten, we returned home suspicious of everyone around us. We were well known and well liked or so we though, we couldn't believe that this had happened. I felt judged and watched everywhere I went, spied on in my own home, doors and windows were kept shut. I could understand if it was a noise complaint, but it was abuse and some of the allegations were the product of an over active imagination and in no way true. I wasn't able to trust anyone. I did find out who had done this, a neighbour I had never spoken to. I asked why she hadn't just knocked on the door, I would have invited her in and apologised! I got nothing back, no apology, explanation, nothing, just a snide grin. Perhaps she has issues herself, but the hurt this caused me has been immeasurable. I thought we would spend the rest of our days living in our house, but looking at her house every day for three years, fearing further allegations, terrified of every bruise my children got, every time my children shouted or screamed. As I say, I'm pretty laid back, but it was too much and we moved. Through shame of the allegations,mi was never able to tell my wonderful friends and neighbours why.

Don't know what I'm trying to say, of course abuse has to be reported. But if you hear a child screaming, consider knocking on the door, asking if everything is ok. Maybe the Mum would appreciate a chat, I'm sure she doesn't enjoy her child screaming but some kids just go though this phase, it not a reflection on parenting. If your kids haven't gone though it, great, but don't pat yourself on the back whilst being condescending of others, offer a hand to others for god's sake.

Our lives have gone on to be even better, but whilst this may be trivial for some, it really haunts me.

twomonkeys
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Re: Screaming child in back garden

Postby twomonkeys » Mon Jun 26, 2017 11:01 am

I just wanted to say to Nice Cup of Tea that your post is really important to hear.

It's a helpful reminder of the impact intolerance in all aspects of our lives (not just garden noise!) Likewise, no judgement to the original poster. Thank you for sharing your point of view and glad to hear you got through a very difficult time.

leapyearbaby
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Re: Screaming child in back garden

Postby leapyearbaby » Mon Jun 26, 2017 11:32 am

I do wonder what the op imagines can be done? Gagging?

Things are never simple. My child is loud these days, very, angry, but he's going through hell emotionally. I won't divulge more but it's the worst that can happen to a child and no one 's fault. My neighbours hear but never complain. I assume out of compassion.

You never know what is going on and many disabilities or needs are invisible.
You're right to be concerned about abuse, but you've ruled that out.

Mazwells
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Re: Screaming child in back garden

Postby Mazwells » Mon Jun 26, 2017 5:43 pm

Total sympathy as I had and continue to experience a similar problem. In my situation the child shrieks and in turn the parent at times shouts back which basically amounts to a game of who can be the loudest the longest!

I did have a conversation with my neighbour about it and mentioned that whilst we all have to tolerate and make allowances for what I call 'sounds of living' this was causing me issues as I often work from home (disrupting business calls) plus outlined other concerns. Things improved immediately and I definitely notice that when other family members/friends visit and give the children the 1:1 attention the change in behaviour is amazing - its almost as if they are testing their parents or trying desperately to get their attention.

Its really a tough one as you don't want to be critical without knowing the full situation but at the same time by actually having a face to face, non confrontational chat outlining the issues and concerns could help.

piper_halliwell
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Re: Screaming child in back garden

Postby piper_halliwell » Mon Jun 26, 2017 7:35 pm

Dear WW,

seeing as most everyone is advising you to go and have a friendly chat with the "offender"'s parents and their living quarters need to be identified first, here is my advice...

Go and buy yourself a drone, let it loose and find the house in question. That done, bake a - dairy-, nut-, sugar-, grain- free (have to cater for everyone's potential needs after all :P ) cake or muffins and go over for a chat.

Before that oder yourself a pair of BOSE QC35 headphones and walk around with them on... Or just get a pair of earplugs... much cheaper! ;)

Joke aside I really feel for you! :(

xox


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