Husband snoring every night Post Reply

[FLH03]

My husband snores really really badly, every night, and I mean every night, whether he is lying on his back, front, side, whether he has had loads or a few drinks, or nothing, whether he is tired or not, or has a cold or is in perfect health. He was quite overweight but has lost a stone in the last half year, and has got much fitter over the last two years, and it hasn't made any difference. The snoring noises he makes are not consistent (light snoring/grunts/wheezing, extremely loud snoring) so it is not even a sound I can just get used to. I don't want to wear ear plugs as I don't like the thought of not hearing the children or an alarm clock, and I don't find them comfortable. His legs also twitch - is that connected?

He is coming up for 50, is this just something that happens in middle age? Is there anything that can be done? I have a few friends who's husbands have had laser throat surgery because of bad snoring, and in each of those cases it did not work and the snoring resumed after a few months.

I have to try and be asleep before him, this puts me under pressure and has the opposite effect of keeping me awake and not relaxed. I am a normal sleeper, not particularly light, and he wakes me up with the racket he makes, if I have to get up for a child then I can't get back to sleep and it makes me tired and grumpy and cross at him. I nudge him, elbow him or even kick him, fully waking him, he stops for seconds then starts off again. I have to climb in with the children to get back to sleep, or have gone to the spare room. Again not ideal.

He doesn't seem bothered, and doesn't seem to want to do anything about it. I have recorded him and played it back, the children have told him what a racket he makes. His parents are terrible snorers, his father has sleep apnoea and wears an oxygen mask in bed at night - I don't really want him getting into this state if I can help him, and he clearly is not getting a good night's rest either. It has definitely got worse over the last 5 years.

I picked up a card at my GP's for a Snoring Clinic - has anyone tried this or have any suggestions.

Thanks

[safesound]

I know what you are going through and two years ago I gave in and moved into the spare room which has now become my room and I LOVE it. I love having my own space. It smells nice, it is clean and tidy and I can shut the door and do what I like in my space and I will NEVER give it up. the problem we have is if we go on holiday - 2 separate rooms is expensive!!

[Azalea]

I know I"m using ear plugs for 7 years! 3M yellow ones are the best

[Club Creche]

I am so following this thread!! very tired following the usual woken up by my husband going to bed later than me and quickly falling asleep. My night continues he sleeps and snores whilst I feel like putting a pillow over his head and try to get back to sleep. Have woken him, to try and roll him over and shut him up and he denies snoring and says he's been awake all along!! Alas no spare room as four children and two adults in our house. keep looking at the cheap and cheerful Holiday Inn Express ( maybe they do discounts for local mums with teething children and snoring husbands!)
Good luck dear ladies do let me know if any lightbulb moments occur!
Love Mel x

[supermaman]

My dad was the same. He was completely fine with snoring but my mum was getting very annoyed. He had a surgery whereby they removed the uvula at the back of the throat. He doesn't snore anymore. He was of similar age to your dad when he did it. His sleep is even better now as it turned out that he was a little bit in apnea when he was snoring.

[FLH03]

It is a real comfort to know you other ladies are going through this, lying there at night having murderous thoughts and kicking your other halves. Thank you for posting lovely sympathetic and helpful replies, I am left feeling slightly down knowing there is no perfect answer.

I feel increasingly resentful as the non-snorer that I should have to move out of my lovely bed, our spare room is just not so inviting. I know there are people who have awful medical complaints, but after having gone through getting up for babies and toddlers, and now being a bit older, I just want a good night's sleep! Husband is out tonight and I am really quite excited and looking forward to being asleep before him, which is crazy.

Of 3 people I know who "made" their partners have that laser op, they are all 3 back snoring, it had a small short term effect, but within 6 months to a year they were back at full grunting and snorting levels. Plus the recovery is very painful, (more so than childbirth apparently (according to the men, yeah right)) and so there was a lot of TLC needed. One of those husbands has now been permanently moved to the spare room.

There is an possible serious problem with sleep apnoea though, so I am going to get my husband to see his GP, his father had problems with his blood oxygen levels, which led to a period of very bad health, irregular heart pattern and breathlessness, and it was a vicious circle. But the thought of wearing an oxygen mask in bed at night in your fifties and sixties sounds terrible. Husband doesn't see it as an issue at all (I also get the "but I was awake" comment), so if he is not going to help me help him, then a spare room redesign is on the cards.

Do you think George Clooney snores?

[mommyg]

I sleep with BioEars earplugs - they're amazing and very comfy. Completely different to normal sponge earplugs. made from silicone which you shape to the outer ear instead of the ear canal. About £5 for 3 pairs at Boots. This lasts me a month.
I still have a baby monitor in my toddler's room. I can't hear every sound, but the earplugs let in just enough sound so that I know when she's awake. If I don't hear her, my husband let's me know!
My father in law also had the op a few years ago. Stopped the snoring for 2 weeks!

[TupeloHoney]

I have had this problem! My husband has, until very recently, been a TERRIBLE snorer, but because it doesn't bother him, he just didn't care very much. I am not a great sleeper myself, so if I was woken up by his snoring I'd find it almost impossible to go back to sleep. He was famous amongst his friends for his snoring, and on boys weekends away would have to pay for his own room because nobody would share with him

Anyway I recently put my foot down and told him enough was enough. I hounded him daily until he went to the pharmacist and was given throat spray and nasal strips. The nasal strips are useless, but the throat spray worked for a couple of weeks. When I noticed that he was starting to snore again, I sent him to the GP, who prescribed a nasal spray to use in conjunction with the throat spray. And hey presto, we have a snore free house! In fact, apparently it's ME keeping HIM awake now

[Emma]

Rolling him into the recovery position will help, but otherwise he should see his GP and be checked out for sleep apnoea. Good luck and I really do feel for you.
Emma

[SLALLU]

Hi All ,
This post caught my eye .
Believe it or not , your dentist may be able to help. Have a look at a british society of dental sleep medicine . A trained dentist can make an appliance that postures the lower jaw forward - this reduces or eliminates the snoring. Obviously not for everyone but worth looking in to

[StacksNorthants]

I feel quite strongly about this, as my poor mother in law ends up sleeping in a different room from my father in law every night, but has always had to sneak out in the middle of the night to try and get any kind of rest. This is a) bonkers and b) completely unfair on her (the innocent victim) but she will not *make* him act any other way and so has had a lifetime of bad sleep!

I think you need to get really strict - it may not be his fault that he snores, but it is certainly his fault that he is not even trying to improve it for you. The only way to even begin to fix it is if he takes his own action - you must allow yourself to believe that it is just not acceptable to impact on another human being this way - let alone one who you're supposed to love !

Unless you are lucky enough to have a lovely spare room that you quite fancy claiming for yourself, poke him every time he snores until he gets fed up and then tell him to move into the spare room ! If he doesn't fancy it, then perhaps he will start to consider his appalling selfishness about not caring whether he is disturbing you and start attempting some of the options that others mention above.

Treat it like toddler sleep training - grit your teeth, be prepared for an active night or two, and stay firm until he will adjust his behaviour to make his own life more comfortable. If that still doesn't work, you could always be 'too tired to cook' so you ate with the children, he'll have to help himself; 'too tired to do the ironing' so there are no shirts done (insert here whatever chores you do for him that he'll actually notice when they are withdrawn due to exhaustion)

BTW losing weight eventually helped my husband, but it was nearer 2 stone lost before a noticeable difference.

Good luck channelling Dr Tanya Byron !

[amadeus]

I have suffered from this too and eventually made my husband go to a snore clinic with me (http://www.britishsnoring.co.uk/) where they asked a lot of detailed questions to ascertain the type of snorer he was (throat, nose etc.) and eventually recommended a mouth guard, but also that losing weight and drinking less would help. In the end we never got the mouth guard but I find it reassuring to know that it's an option should things get desperate. I think the consultation was about £100 or so and the mouth guard would have been about £300 (can't remember exactly) - either way, would eventually have made up for my ear plug habit...! One thing that was quite useful to learn at the clinic was the my husband was probably getting really bad sleep as well as me - and finding a cure for snoring would beneficial to him as well - so it would be in his best interests to look into it as well. Good luck!

[entrepreneur]

I recommend the GP and PERSISTENCE. My husband's snoring was cured with a device he wears like a mouthguard (prescription only not the ones OTC whic didn't work). Sleep apnea is dangerous apart from disruptive. But I have to admit, I love having my own room too!! Only the peasants shared beds permanently once upon a time! Good luck