I have to be honest- I have three children of my own and have looked after countless on play dates and as a favour to friends. Not once have I encountered a child who will scream non stop if their needs are being met and, to be honest, if I was experiencing the same as the original poster I too would be concerned about some form of at least neglect, if not abuse. I know there are exceptions but it is not normal for a child to scream all day. It is also outrageous for the parents to allow this to happen in the garden. Obviously It is ok for children to shout every now and again and I love the sound of the neighbouring children being boisterous and laughing- but screaming day in and day out? No way!
I would try and find out who it is, have a chat with them and gauge the situation. I think it will become evident quite quickly if there is something not right.

Yes, quite right, 'parents' and not 'mother'

The OP suggests the child was screaming in the garden all day. So, yes, I would expect the parents to take the kid inside.

Jen66, of course if something CAN be done to stop the child screaming or not disturb the neighbours, then the parents (NOT just "the mother" by the way!) should do it. And of course the poster is not unreasonable to wish the noise would stop.

The point is, in this case there may be nothing the parents can do. What do you think they should do? Gag the child? Keep the child inside and all doors and windows shut (when it's 25 degrees plus)? Spend all day at the park (probably annoying more people)? In some situations there unfortunately just isn't a remedy.

Hi Sheds

Wasn't really singling out any one response, rather the whole overall tone that smacked of the poster being unreasonable for not wanting her peace disturbed day in, day out.

Hi Jen66

With all due respects, I wonder if you got the fact that I was offering ways for the original poster to have a different and possibly better experience.

'But it's her kid and SHE is the one who has to suck it up' doesn't look very helpful from here and could be a sentiment that leaves the original poster stuck as how can anything change for the OP if it is dependant on someone else doing something first... and it doesn't appear to have happened yet, which is precisely what prompted the post in the first place!

My intent was to be helpful.

I'm surprised at some of the replies on here and the suggestion that the original poster just has to suck it up.

Yes, of course, all reasonable people know that babies cry and that children can be noisy and that's life. But, from what the poster has said, it does sound as if this crosses the line of what is acceptable.

The poster has the right to a certain quality of life and if his/her garden is pretty much out of bounds because of this noise than that right is being violated.

The suggestion that the poster just say indoors and even puts headphones on! Seriously?!

However, I am confused that you say you have not pinpointed the offending house and yet neighbours have spoken to the mother about the issue. Well can't you just ask one of those neighbours to give you the address?

For the people saying that the mother is probably thoroughly fed up with the noise as well: I'm sure she is. But it's her kid and SHE is the one who has to suck it up - not the poster who just wants to use their garden.

Dear WW,

seeing as most everyone is advising you to go and have a friendly chat with the "offender"'s parents and their living quarters need to be identified first, here is my advice...

Go and buy yourself a drone, let it loose and find the house in question. That done, bake a - dairy-, nut-, sugar-, grain- free (have to cater for everyone's potential needs after all ) cake or muffins and go over for a chat.

Before that oder yourself a pair of BOSE QC35 headphones and walk around with them on... Or just get a pair of earplugs... much cheaper!

Joke aside I really feel for you!

xox

Total sympathy as I had and continue to experience a similar problem. In my situation the child shrieks and in turn the parent at times shouts back which basically amounts to a game of who can be the loudest the longest!

I did have a conversation with my neighbour about it and mentioned that whilst we all have to tolerate and make allowances for what I call 'sounds of living' this was causing me issues as I often work from home (disrupting business calls) plus outlined other concerns. Things improved immediately and I definitely notice that when other family members/friends visit and give the children the 1:1 attention the change in behaviour is amazing - its almost as if they are testing their parents or trying desperately to get their attention.

Its really a tough one as you don't want to be critical without knowing the full situation but at the same time by actually having a face to face, non confrontational chat outlining the issues and concerns could help.

I do wonder what the op imagines can be done? Gagging?

Things are never simple. My child is loud these days, very, angry, but he's going through hell emotionally. I won't divulge more but it's the worst that can happen to a child and no one 's fault. My neighbours hear but never complain. I assume out of compassion.

You never know what is going on and many disabilities or needs are invisible.
You're right to be concerned about abuse, but you've ruled that out.

I just wanted to say to Nice Cup of Tea that your post is really important to hear.

It's a helpful reminder of the impact intolerance in all aspects of our lives (not just garden noise!) Likewise, no judgement to the original poster. Thank you for sharing your point of view and glad to hear you got through a very difficult time.

A new username (for anonymity) and another perspective.

I am Mum to three lovley children who are loved and cherished. From the day he was born my eldest was as rough as a bulldozer, a complete extrovert and larger than life and lots of fun. My middle daughter is a sweet and sensitive soul, a creative, and a screamer. She didn't walk or crawl until she was 2 and had no inclination to do so, didn't bear weight until 18 months and again had no interest in trying. We weren't too concerned, it was obvious she was more a thinker than a mover. However looking back it probably added to her frustration and screaming! Our issues were probably compounded by an open plan living area with bifold doors (I love fresh air and tended to have them open)

My middle child would scream and scream. She wouldn't be soothed and I came to the conclusion that she had to let out her frustration (although the creaming could go in for an hour of more, when not screaming she was a darling!) Meanwhile my eldest was the proverbial bull in a china shop and with a new born baby in the mix, he was frequently being yelled at to calm down for fearing on injuring himself or someone else. While shouting isn't great, with a babe and a non walking toddler in my arms it was the quickest way to intervene and prevent impending catastrophe! I should say here, I'm a pretty laid back person, none of this stressed me, to me it was all part and parcel of family life, not perfect but hey ho. We were and are an incredible happy and blessed family. (Neither I or my husband had a happy childhood so we thank our stars every day for the happiness we have found)

A neighbour put two and two together, added in some bizarre made up stuff (which she may or may not have believed to be true) and reported me to the NSPCC for abusing my newborn. The police arrived at the door on afternoon while I was playing with the baby. They were apologetic, I was utterly horrified. We put it behind us as one of those odd things and a couple of weeks later went on our first, much longed and saved for, family holiday. Whilst abroad I had a call from social services, the same allegations of abuse. After a chat, they confirmed they had no concerns. However the bottom fell out of my world. Holiday forgotten, we returned home suspicious of everyone around us. We were well known and well liked or so we though, we couldn't believe that this had happened. I felt judged and watched everywhere I went, spied on in my own home, doors and windows were kept shut. I could understand if it was a noise complaint, but it was abuse and some of the allegations were the product of an over active imagination and in no way true. I wasn't able to trust anyone. I did find out who had done this, a neighbour I had never spoken to. I asked why she hadn't just knocked on the door, I would have invited her in and apologised! I got nothing back, no apology, explanation, nothing, just a snide grin. Perhaps she has issues herself, but the hurt this caused me has been immeasurable. I thought we would spend the rest of our days living in our house, but looking at her house every day for three years, fearing further allegations, terrified of every bruise my children got, every time my children shouted or screamed. As I say, I'm pretty laid back, but it was too much and we moved. Through shame of the allegations,mi was never able to tell my wonderful friends and neighbours why.

Don't know what I'm trying to say, of course abuse has to be reported. But if you hear a child screaming, consider knocking on the door, asking if everything is ok. Maybe the Mum would appreciate a chat, I'm sure she doesn't enjoy her child screaming but some kids just go though this phase, it not a reflection on parenting. If your kids haven't gone though it, great, but don't pat yourself on the back whilst being condescending of others, offer a hand to others for god's sake.

Our lives have gone on to be even better, but whilst this may be trivial for some, it really haunts me.

Dear Wimbledonwomble

Whilst I feel for you and your situation, may I offer a different perspective that you may or may not find useful?

If you are waiting for the child's screaming to stop, then you remain stuck inside your situation until the child does so.

If you decide to create a better experience for yourself then you are no longer stuck. Here there are no limits. A few ideas: you can go indoors yourself, listen to music through headphones, feel sorry for the parents who have it louder than you, stop focussing on it (when I wanted pallets I saw them everywhere, when I didn't I never saw them - they were still there!), offer to give the parents a break by taking the child to the park, make biscuits/cake to take round to offer friendship and support, think how you might feel in their situation and do what makes sense to you from that... I don't know, there must be things that you can do so that you are no longer troubled by this. Different thinking, different experience.

Sw1234 I feel for you! I'm in a similar boat my 2 under 4 are up early and ready to rumble at 6.

The original poster needs to remember there are many different neighbours- the party animals with music that doesn't stop until 3am every weekend. The large dog owners who bark non stop. The sports car owner who like to rev.

Just got to go directly to the source and ask them to stop and if they dont ignore or move really!

This is a tricky one and you definitely have my sympathies. However I also have a young one and despite fans etc our kitchen/living area is like a sauna. My toddler is waking at 5 am and by 630/7 am i have to open the doors just so we can all breathe. There's then a screaming fit because she wants to go outside and I feel that it's too early for the poor neighbours. I have resorted to jumping in the air con car with her at the weekend so that she didn't torture the neighbours until 8/8.30 but I'm working during the week so unfortunately my neighbours are having to suffer my strong willed noisy toddler rather early at times. No one has complained yet but I feel terrible! I am interested in people's views because I feel powerless! I know this gets easier as I have an older child too who I can reason with

I would imagine the parents are trying their best to teach the child to stop (after all the noise must be annoying them too!) but if the child is very young there's a limit on what they can do, the child will learn/stop eventually but it won't be instant. What do you expect the parents to do exactly? Lock the child indoors with shut doors (in this heat) until they outgrow this phase?