Dear South West London Mum,
“What’s a townhouse?”
My eldest was sat on the sofa, reading a book and as I prepared to answer his question I allowed myself a little bout of smugness.
If he was reading books on buildings at his age, perhaps he’ll become a famous architect and when he collects awards on TV for his latest bridge or orphanage, the camera can cut away to me clapping proudly at the ceremony.
“Well its a house in town”, I replied “they’re usually tall and deep with basements or walled gardens as opposed to country houses with grounds and drives.”
Perhaps he might buy me some diamonds I wondered, I should probably have some for the ceremony if it’s televised.
“And do girls like them?”, he asked.
That question was a little left field, but I persevered, “yes I suppose they might, it depends on how they’re designed.”
“So is that a love lair?”
My initial shock was replaced by a dawning realisation on where this conversation was probably going.
“What are you reading?”
He turned the book over to look at the cover.
The “Carpetbaggers,” its one of Daddies old ones.
I remembered the book from our honeymoon, the cover has a picture of a screaming girl in a bikini holding a knife.
Germaine Greer it was not.
At that point Mr NVN waddled into the room and spied my son.
“I think you’re a bit young for Harold Robbins” he said tousling his hair “we should probably start you on some Desmond Bagley first.”
“Can I finish this chapter” my son replied “its just getting good”.
“Sure”, he countered, “fill your boots, if you can follow the story”.
“Follow the story?” I huffed,”fill your boots? Its hardly Michael Flipping Morpurgo,” I turned to my son, “you’re to stop reading that rubbish right now”.
They exchanged a look and with that I gave up, realising I was probably creating negative gender stereotypes far better than Mr Robbins ever could.
Here is what you’ve been talking about on NappyValleyNet (Wandsworth):
Exhaused123 visited a top local resturant and was joined by a little squeaky visitor. Maybe he was attracted by their famous cheeseboard?…click here for details
AF woke up on Saturday morning to find a lump of masonry had been thrown threw one of her windows. Did anyone else suffer anything similar in the Shaftsbury Estate last week?…click here for details
Mother1234 is looking to buy a flat in the catchment area of Honeywell or Belleville. Before anyone “wades in” that’s buy NOT rent!…click here for details
Pinkwoodentop has a years worth of holiday built up over her maternity leave but can only carry over 5 days. Is that legal?…click here for details
Not local but very weird. Seb posted a topic with the headline “KELLY BROOKS EX-GLADIATOR BOYFRIEND PLEADS GUILTY TO CRASHING VAN FULL OF DEAD BADGERS” because its not one you’d ever expect to read! Errr, thanks for the tip!…click here for details
Tell “All About the Girl” about a mummy who deserves to win a facial and they might win it! It’s to celebrate Mother’s Day and feel free to name me if you’re looking for inspiration!…click here for details
Benji has posted that they’ve lost their daughters small blonde COCKAPOO DOG on Bellamy Street SW12. Anyone who has spotted him please do get in touch…click here for details
A few months ago an application for a MASSIVE billboard outside Clapham Junction was rejected. They’re trying again and Jonathan at Hamptons would like you to consider objecting again…click here for details
TWO posts from Wandsworth Council (thanks!). There is still time for local residents to come up with ideas on the best ways to spend windfall cash from developers to pay for community benefits (click here) and consultation is now underway to see if residents support the introduction of 20mph speed limits…click here for details
ITV are looking for women about to purchase a new bed. Have to say I did think this was hoax post but maybe it is genuine? What would it be called, “Divan Mind the Buzzcocks?!…click here for details
Jen66 wants to recommend Addomme, a “fantastic Italian in Streatham.” Huge pizzas and lovely friendly staff. I’ll pop down soon to get a “Pizza The Action”…click here for details
Azalea asks if she should choose “Parkgate or The Roche School?”. Can you help with a prep school puzzle?…click here for details
FTMummy is searching for good, high-wasted jeans that do not look like some hideous 80’s Dallas tribute. I LOVED Dallas and secretly had a crush on JR…click here for details
A5 wants to donate unwanted toys to a good cause, any ideas who might accept them?…click here for details
AS is looking for interviewees to take part in a film about the highs and lows of parenthood. There are highs?…click here for details
Sticking with requests, Quibly would like your help. Free tea, coffee, cake and a £15 Amazon voucher as they’d like to hear your thoughts on a new offering they’ll be launching…click here for details
WMS has linked to a top article about getting your child into a church school. “She ironed his cassock???”…click here for details
MOSTB2 wonders when we might hear about nursery places in Wandsworth state schools?…click here for details
Mum2babyboy is looking for a photographer in SW14 area who will do a baby cake smash session. A WHAT?…click here for details
Babyequipment’s PM is stuck in the outbox, she needed help. I hope this is now fixed!…click here for details
It’s Battle of the Nurseries! SamT would love to know your thoughts on Sticky Fingers vs. the Colour Box…click here for details
Ahhh the smell of greasepaint, the roar of the crowds, SD has discovered a wonderful club where her 7 year old daughter attends musical theatre classes. Exit Bear Stage Left!…click here for details
Sticking with drama queens, “Lets Act” drama school has Easter sessions. It’s like Glee with show-tunes performed by children!…click here for details
On a serious note, JF wants to recommend an amazing women who helped her family get through tough times…click here for details
BSM is looking into stair-gates and cannot decide which would be better – pressure hold or screw into the wall type?…click here for details
Ngulra is looking for a french speaking babysitter in Balham. Tres Bon!…click here for details
Betty Lee is adopting a baby girl and needs advice on childminders and working tax credits etc…click here for details
Muddlemoo needs a reliable taxi firm for special needs children…click here for details
SwimWay provides swimming lessons in private developments: homes, schools and gyms. Ahhh, but do they make you pick up a brick from the floor of the pool wearing pyjamas?…click here for details
Our Travel section is bursting with ideas for the the Easter holidays!
Listen up at the back, schools questions are now on the playing fields in the lovely weather!
Wandsworth Preparatory School is delighted to announce they will be launching a Year 3 class this September (click here) last few spaces available for any budding Balham-based Beethoven’s looking for piano teachers! (click here) and there is a ballet school open day on the 5th May (click here)
Our House and Garden section is busier than Nigel Farage’s PR people after *this* weeks revelationa
Don’t miss the Decorfest a creative home & garden festival”. Its in Wimbledon and might inspire you to create a more personal home and garden or might depress you with how much work you have to do and make you give up on all home improvements forever! (click here) Bel35 asks if anyone is able to recommend their party wall surveyor for a basement conversion? (click here) Chris03 needs a reasonable mechanic or garage for work on his car (click here) MGMidget would love recommendations for a gardener/builder to put up fences (click here) Bamse has a question about double height extension/living areas. (click here). finally local artist John Bate has an art exhibition in Clapham on Sunday 23rd March…click here for details
Our calendar is being upgraded, back later this week bigger and better!
Don’t forget AnnabelsArcade our totally free buying and selling site!
That’s it, have a wonderful week!
Annabel and the NappyValleyNet.com Team