Five foot python loose in local park. Rude restaurants. “Surprising” local food standard scores. Party-goers rescued from SW12 roof! Aggressive door-to-door sellers

Dear NappyValleyNetter,

I’ve spent the last few days visiting my parents and left the house and children in the charge of Mr NVN.

This always feels a little like setting them up to appear on “Big Brother”. As my taxi pulls away I half expect a voice to boom around the living room announcing that “The Housemates must now fend for themselves and learn how to cook, wash and clean.”

On my return, however, I was delighted to find the house wasn’t damaged, the children appeared to have been washed and there was no repeat of the incident involving dental braces, a paperclip and a trip to A&E at 3am.

But the children were absolutely exhausted.

“What have you done to them?” I asked, as they flopped listlessly around the house, “did you let them stay up late every night?”

My youngest solved the mystery.

“Daddy set up Battersea Mean Time,” she chipped in, “it’s just like when on holiday but we really actually put all the clocks back two hours. It meant that we could stay up really late but we weren’t lying when we told you we went to bed on time.”

“Oh,” she said as Mr NVN and my eldest looked daggers at her, “can you pretend you didn’t hear that?”

Here is what you’ve been talking about on NappyValleyNet (Wandsworth):

A five foot python was loose in a local Wandsworth park. I’m so glad I didn’t spot it, I’d have been hiss-terical…click here for details

WMS has posted a link to the Wandsworth food standard scores. There are some surprises in there, not sure Mr NVN will ever eat another kebab!…click here for details

What is a “Naturopathic Doctor” asks NCL? A real medical professional or more from the “Dara O Briain” school of medicine?…click here for details

An aggressive door-to-door seller has upset a few of our regular users. Are you getting unwanted visitors?…click here for details

WLM wonders why restaurants are so rude to families? She feels one Japanese eaterie wasn’t very polite!…click here for details

 Some very refreshed partygoers had to be rescued the “morning after” in Balham. According to the Standard they’d fallen asleep on the roof and were still asleep the next morning. I’m guessing that wasn’t like the party I went to on Saturday with candles, cake and a Frozen sing-a-long!..click here for details

Sticking with parties, MST2 asks if the Romany Scout Hut is great for birthday parties? Great? It’s AMAZING!…click here for details

Still sticking with parties, SL would love your “party package” ideas for her six year old! Keep them off the roof SL!!!…click here for details

We’ve had another email from Sandip Shrestha updating the community on the status of the temporary traveller site in SW12. Thanks Sandip…click here for details

Yellowtail is not happy that a piano tuner has locked up a bike advertising his services by Wandsworth Common. Innovative marketing or public littering?…click here for details

Jemima would like to buy a roof box, preferably second hand. Do you have one you’re willing to let go?…click here for details

Scott is a great friend of NVN and he runs a local online VET business. If you need a one then he might be your man!…click here for details

TWO lost and found posts! AMT has lost a memory card containing baby pics around Fulham by Philpott Square (click here) and MOW has lost a much-loved teddy around Chivalry Road…click here for details

MM is searching for a Spanish playgroup, hola! (click here) and Joxyna is searching for an Italian playgroup. If you know of one please si prega di gridare!…click here for details

Kcbh has a fascinating question. Why do house prices vary so much when there is little obvious difference? She’s looking at Thornton Heath versus Norbury and can’t work out why there isn’t a much larger price differential!…click here for details

Two medical questions:LJ is looking for a dentist around SW11 (click here) and Chassange would like rhinoplasty advice…click here for details

KK would love to loan or swap an All Terrrain Buggy…click here for details

We have a TON of situations vacant. Fancy running marketing manager for a local community school? A top local jeweller needs a manager. I like diamonds, I could do that! A local children’s fashion business needs an assistant to process orders…click here for details

Our great friends at Fruity Tunes are opening a new Clapham South nursery this September and they have an open morning on Wednesday! Six lucky parents can receive 80% off the autumn term fees!…click here for details

You’d have to have been living under a rock not to notice all the press coverage about Mindfullness. If you’d like to improve your emotional well-being then the Fernwood Clinic’s new course in Balham could be just for you!…click here for details

Like a London tube strike, your travel questions just keep coming!

Jen66 is looking for suggestions for somewhere warm where she can relax and recuperate in the sun. Flying time no more than four or five hours please. Any ideas?…click here for details

SBN is looking for a travel partner for September. Ideally you’d like to go somewhere warm, be 35-45 and love Latin culture…click here for more details

I suppose this is a travel question: Jag is looking for a driver for the school run in September. Nanny will accompany…click here for details

We love fetes and the Bellevue Road fete is almost here! Yay! The street with be full of delicious food; a hog roast, cheeses, charcuterie, cakes, and washed down with a glass of Prosecco, there won’t be a hungry tummy in sight! You got Mr NVN at Hog Roast! (click here).

Finally, it’s your house and garden questions: we have more than the Labour party has leadership wobbles!

OT needs someone to assemble flatpack furniture (click here). I recommended someone for dishwasher repairs (click here). Steffie wonders if she should go for a glazed roof or velux windows for a side return extension? (click here). Gabbyneeds a roofer (click here). Hannette would love your suggestions for bathroom suppliers and showrooms (click here). Adubs needs to repair Victorian floorboards, do you know who might help? (click here). Lorrwa would like to recommend a carpenter (click here) Shen is hoping someone can suggest a Kardean flooring supplier (click here), Lastly, a really interesting thread about chimney flue fitters, thanks LP73! (click here).

Annabel’s Arcade is our “totes free” buying and selling site!

Pod would love to buy a Gro Clock (click here), T. is selling a Porcelanosa cloakroom sink and tap (click here) and a AD is selling a white cot bed and change table (click here)

Phew, that’s it, have a fabby week!!