“But you make these emails up, right?”
I get asked this question ALL the time.
It’s usually followed by…
“And Mr NappyValleyNet isn’t REALLY such a doofus is he?”
The sharp eyed amongst you will realise that I’ve copied the above from an email I sent last year but I feel its worth repeating because last week, just like the FTSE 100, Mr NVN’s doofus-ness reached an all time high.
On Thursday my eldest brought home an “options” letter. It listed the subjects he could (and couldn’t take) and, as I am sure you know, our job as parents is to steer our children towards the subjects best suited to their interests and abilities.
Unless you’re my husband.
If you’re my husband you decide to wind up your son by scribbling “humorous” comments on the letter such as “He only speaks Teletubbie” in the languages section and “History of Kermit the Frog please” for the humanities choices.
Then, if you’re my husband, you realise that opposed to being a letter it’s actually a pre-printed, *child specific form* and your son has to hand it back to school in fifteen hours.
And that’s when you beg your wife for help.
Which is why I spent last Thursday evening working through a bottle of Tippex, as opposed to a bottle of Processco, and why Mr NVN will be spending the rest of 2015 in the doghouse.
I *promise* this story is true.
Here is what you’ve been talking about on NappyValleyNet (Wandsworth):
Oooh this question could get a little interesting: is a million pound pension pot enough, asks NCL?…click here for details
Tooposhtopush wants to share an awful story about uninsured builders destroying an entire house with a botched basement conversion (click here).
Claire M would like to buy something with “I love Clapham” on it, any ideas for a local vendor? Just make sure you don’t wear it in Battersea otherwise the “I Love Battersea” group will be on your case!…click here for details
It looks like we have TWO shop closures on Bellevue Road. I really hope that’s not the case but I hear it is…click here for details
Two massage questions! It’s just like waiting for the a 319 bus, nothing and then two AND a 219 turn up! First off the mark is H49 who is looking for a a baby massage course. (click here). Not to be outdone, Supermummy pops her question but she’s searching for a massage/scrub for her husband (click here). We once had a neighbour who was an osteopath, he never spoke to us again after Mr NVN introduced him at a dinner party as a masseuse.
A couple of lovely posts about our fabby meet-up last week. Charlotte wants to say a big thank you to the Bolingbroke for looking after us so well *and* to The Biscuit Tree for their beautifully decorated Easter biscuits (click here). BatterseaSquareMum was at the meet-up and she also thinks the Bolingbroke is lovely! (click here).
Two road accident posts. Firstly, a double-decker ploughed into a wall near Clapham Junction (click here) and secondly a cyclist was injured by the Southside Centre (click here). Please be careful out there!
From road incidents to somewhere you might buy “One for the Road” (geddit!). Kate is concerned about a potential planning application to turn the Big Fat Panda into a bar that closes at 3am! That would make it a “Big Fat Tired Panda”!…click here for details
IWH is looking for a good silver and leather engraver to make a replica “Game of Thrones” armour and jerkin. Ok, Ok I made the last bit up. Its actually for a Hobbit re-enactment society. OK, Ok I confess I don’t know why but lets help if we can!…click here for details
Our friends at the Parent Practice are running a fabby special offer. It’s twenty percent off their online academy courses and to butcher a quote from Jerry Maguire, “you had me at floodrobe!” …click here for details
While I’m mentioning brilliant courses I should highlight “First Aid for Life. They also have a special offer and it’s 25% off their 3 hour emergency courses and full day Paediatric courses. However it’s ONLY for this week. If you haven’t been on one of their courses you really really should do, it’s literally life saving…click here for details
Zaza107 is looking for horizontal history timeline wall charts for kids. Not made out of silver or leather!…click here for details
Wandsworth is the inner London borough with the lowest crime levels. Thanks for posting Wandsworth Council!…click here for details
Claire M asks if anyone has any experience of laser treatment for a fungal toe nail?…click here for details
Cronut is very worried, her little one is due to start Rutherford House very soon but she’s heard that the head and both reception teachers have resigned. Does anyone know what’s going on. she asks?…click here for details
FC is looking for a baby signing class in the Clapham South/Balham area?…click here for details
Anna1103 is looking for an NHS dentist practice around Clapham/Balham. Who is our local Top Tooth Treater?…click here for details
Looking for Easter fun? Gateway House have a STACK of stuff going on and it all starts a week today! Games, arts, crafts, abseiling (Ok, I made that last one up!)…click here for details
MTC is searching for a career coach in the financial services industry. When you find one just check Fred Goodwin wasn’t one of his/her clients!…click here for details
Bamse has a collection of foreign coins that she would like to donate to a charity. Any ideas who might benefit?…click here for details
Soriano has an evening gown that needs some hemming and a few stitches here and there. Is there a really really super seamstress you’d recommend?…click here for details
ArtfulToddler have been nominated as a “Best New Activity for Children” in the “International What’s On 4 Junior Awards”. Well done!…click here for details
Flogri is looking for an entertainer for a birthday party with a dozen three year olds! Eeek, a dozen! You need riot police not an entertainer!!!…click here for details
HB is hunting for a hall for a “School Quiz Night” that would seat up to 200. My youngest’s school quiz night is bacchanalian in it’s excess. If I told you what’s gone on, you wouldn’t believe me. Which is why it’s Mr NVN’s favourite night of the year!…click here for details
Slm520 are off on their holidays and they need a reliable and friendly dog sitter, preferably near Wandsworth Common or Clapham Common…click here for details
Sticking with dogs! DomTheDogfather needs dogs for a new TV show! It’s for an American TV channel (National Geographic Wild) and the ideal canine candidate needs to be of medium to large size with “boyish looks” Wow! Does the next RinTinTin reside in your residence?…click here for details
Writerlady needs a Mac expert! Her printer and computer are not talking and they should be!…click here for details
Check out these vacancies if you’d like more jobs than Grant Shaps!
Looking for activity and meet-up ideas? We have more than the England rugby team scored tries!
TillyandMoo need drama classes over Easter! My little one is usually a drama queen in the holidays but I don’t think I’m being helpful! (click here). Mumsw11mum is looking for classes for Portuguese-speaking or bilingual children (click here). Germanmumofbabyboy wants to share her lovely German speaking nanny (click here). Princesspinkpants is looking for playdates. She looks after two children aged 1 and 3 and is based around Wandsworth Common (click here). Local literacy charity Beanstalk need mums, nannies, au pairs, grandparents or anyone who has some time spare during the school day! I LOVE this charity, please help if you can! Their reading helpers go into local primary schools to work one to one with children who need some extra support with their reading (click here).
It’s not just Richard the Third’s skeleton that’s on the move! Check out our travel questions!
Would you like to WIN A FAMILY HOLIDAY! from Tots Too! (pick me pick me!) (click here). Hol49 is looking for a family/boutique hotel in Majorca (click here). Katyp123 has started renting out their family home on the beautiful Isle of Skye (click here). Kaybe2014 has a one bed apartment for rent in Sardinia (click here). Tinkerbell is looking for an all inclusive hotel suitable for a 13 & 10 year old (click here). Gail0810 is planning on a holiday for two weeks during the school summer holidays with an almost 5 and 2 yr old. Looking for childcare, activities and the option to do a bit of self catering (click here). Workingmum62 is looking for recommendations for very family friendly hotels in the South of England? Thinking Dorset, Devon, Wiltshire! (click here).
Quiet in assembly please! Here are our education questions!
Nine schools in Wandsworth have received special letters of congratulation from the Government. The seven primaries are Brandlehow, Furzedown, Griffin, St Anne’s, St George’s, St Mary’s RC and St Mary’s CofE, while the secondaries are Graveney and Ark Academy Putney (click here). Jen_putney wants to discuss the Brandlehow nursery/school admissions system. *Every* nursery place went to a sibling this year and she’s worried that the 2016 reception intake will be the same, can the council add more spaces? (click here). Balhammom warns that demand is rising for Emanuel School. If you want a place for 2016 ‘you should register them sooner rather than later’ (click here). Catman is moving to the Balham area and thinking of placing their little one at Rutherford House. How close does she need to live to get in? (click here). Camilla1234s’ son is starting at Thomas’s in September 2015 and would she love to hear from you if your child is too! (click here). Evainlondon is looking for aschool for reception this September (very late they know). They would really love feedback about Bertrum House (click here). On a similar note, Annah was hoping for feedback from parents with children at the following schools: Finton House, Dolphin and Eveline (click here).
Finally, your house and garden questions!
CBW7779 would like to recommend Matthew Thomas of “Thomas Turfing” and “Off the Shelf Gardens” (click here). Kewty is looking for a good Tree Surgeon (click here). Mrsbfrombalham wants to share their experience of getting a Saniflo unit repaired. (click here). Cazinlondon has a built-in dishwasher which needs dismantling (click here). Chantal2011 is converting their loft and the builders have suggested using a private building control company, as opposed to Wandsworth Council. Good idea? (click here). 2010emilie1 is looking for someone to make a “made to measure” valance for a superking size bed? (click here). Luvnyrick needs recommendations for a tiler for a small bathroom floor close to Battersea park (click here). Flogri is looking for a party wall surveyor to deal with a rear extension (click here).
AnnabelsArcade is our totally free buying and selling site!
That’s it, have a wonderful week!!
Annabel and the NappyValleyNet.com Team