Balham WH Smiths to close. 90 inch wide house in Clapham. 2016 Primary school offer results. “Will you marry me?” bracelet lost.

Dear NappyValleyNetter,

“Can we have our apple please?”

My two nieces were visiting last weekend.

At 10am on Sunday morning they stood indignantly in front of Mr NappyValleyNet dressed as Snow White and the Wicked Witch respectively as he bit into a Granny Smiths.

He waved towards the fruit bowl making “just get another” signals.

He couldn’t talk because his mouth was full.

“We don’t want another,” chimed the eldest.

“We’ve spent ages making that one poisonous,” continued the youngest.

At that point everyone in the kitchen went quiet.

If they’d put as much effort into their props as they had into their costumes then this was either going to be very funny or a medical emergency and we wanted to be on around for both.

“Next door’s cat bowl, rainwater and spiders webs,” they verbally ticked off, “it’ll take ages to make it that gross again.”

Only then did it seem to dawn on them that someone was actually eating it.

“Actually don’t bother, now that you’ve bitten it it’ll be all yucky.”

Here is what you’ve been talking about on NappyValleyNet:

Balham WH Smiths to closeThere is a house in Clapham which is 90 inches wide! I guarantee you have driven passed it dozens of times! (click here).

Looks like we’re losing another local store. Balham WH Smiths is due to closing (click here).


Now this is a GREAT question: MM wonders if you tip delivery drivers? Turns out it’s not straightforward. Results so far: pizza yes, parcels no, supermarket maybe! (click here).

I really hope we can help with this post. IR has lost a bracelet with “Will You Marry Me?” enscribed on it (click here).

weekly1I’ve enclosed a link to an extremely scary story in the Telegraph. Fraudsters are intercepting emails relating to property sales and diverting the money (click here). Please be careful if you’re buying or selling.

The Barnes Children Literary Festival is a festival. About books. In Barnes. Ok, ok I know that’s pretty obvious but I bet you didn’t know you can win tickets with NappyValleyNet? (click here).

Actually, on similar lines, the London Motor Show is coming to Nappy Valley. In May. Battersea Park will be hosting this vehicular vision with Tesla, Land Rover, VW, BMW and more all on display with celebs, great food and   (click here).

LL is having terrible trouble with the terrible twos. Any advice, she asks? Yes, wait 365 days and it’ll get easier! Oh, that wasn’t very helpful of me was it? (click here).

weekly3Do you remember I mentioned that local chap on Masterchef? Not the judge the other one. Well he only went and got through AGAIN so he’s on TV AGAIN this Friday! Wow, well done! Have to say if Mr Torode eventually bins him it could make for an excruciating social encounter over the potted shrimp in Chadwicks (click here).

Pie81 is considering a pretty big renovation and has a stack of questions: should they appoint project managers? Are “all-in-one” firms better? We’ve already had some great advice from Jonathan at Hamptons and Vicky at Balance – thank you everyone and please do keep it coming! (click here).

Janet14 wonders if one needs liability insurance for an aupair? Good idea as I remember those old adverts: where there’s blame, there’s a claim! (click here). Sticking with legal issues, CM wonders if you might recommend a solicitor? Her landlord is treating her like a cashcow! (click here).

weekly4This post is from last week but I made a mistake with the link: Balham Blazers is an amazing local football team but some young lads are posing as their players on a fundraising drive. They’re nothing to do with the club, so please don’t handover any money, they tell us (click here).

Actually last week wasn’t my finest hour. I also managed to DELETE this post in it’s entirety. Flatwhite wonders how one might choose a private school when she’s on the other side of the world and will have to do it from there? (click here).

ML wonders how she can deal with neighbours who overpark? They’re taking more than two spaces and it’s causing everyone else problems! (click here).

TD is looking for a financial advisor. Any ideas who is the Soros of South London? (click here)

weekly5SM is thinking of buying a flat in Du Cane Court – would you recommend it, she asks? I LOVE Du Cane Court, I always feel like an extra in Poirot whenever I visit but as her username is Swedish Mama perhaps her preference maybe a little more Nordic-noir? (click here).

Abbot’s nursery room leader is becoming her nanny. How much should she be paid, she asks? (click here).

Portico are a brand new property partner for NappyValleyNet but… did you know they also offer a handyman service AND discounts with local firms such as The Humble Grape and The Craft Beer Co.? (click here).

A number of “BTC” residents are getting very worried about a major development on Thurleigh Road and how that may impact road safety. Big trucks, tons of rubble and limited visibility are causing a lot of concern (click here).

DD wonders where they might get a trendy boys haircut? Is there a Vidal Sasoon in the ‘Valley?  (click here).

SW11 asks if you prefer Mark Warner or Neilson holidays? (click here). I love both but you can read my last Mark Warner review here (click here).

weekly6There is a new cafe/pop-up restaurant in Balham. I “popped in” last week and it looks great. Good luck “Brother Marcus”. He’s not my brother, that’s the cafe name (click here).

You know the lovely IMBS? The salon on Balham High Road. It’s their birthday and they’re having a party! It’s this Wednesday and there are discounts (25% off!), goody bags, free demos and EVERYTHING! Happy Birthday IMBS and we’ll see you all there! (click here).


Last week was “National Primary School Offers Day” so we have a TON of school posts!

Many of these posts are from parents looking for feedback on schools they are joining so if you can help with information on the Belleville/Honeywell catchment areas (click here)Tooting Primary and Rutherford House (click here)The Durand Academy (click here)Henry Cavendish (click here)Hillbrook Primary (click here)St Boniface (click here) and Ecoles des Petits (click here) then please do.


And in other school news…

Whitgift has a new head. They’ve only had TWENTY FIVE since 1596 so I think we can assume it’s a long term appointment! (click here).

And on the same subject, the head of Eaton House The Manor is leaving. BD wonders if you know who might be taking over? (click here).

Finally, the head of Sydenham High has written an open letter to parents explaining that if we want to beat teen stress we need to act early. With their permission we’ve reproduced it here.


Looking for a new challenge? We have STACKS of vacancies!

Our great friends at Bright Horizons are recruiting a field marketing executivewho would need to be based “within the M25” (click here). The lovely ReCentre are hoping to find a receptionist (click here). Balham Community Centre on Bedford Hillare looking for a P/T admin assistant (click here) ADV needs an experienced seamstress (click here)Randell Properties have a P/T accounts vacancy SITTING NEXT TO BILLY THE MASTERCHEF COMPETITOR (maybe, I made that but up!) (click here). Westbridge property in Earlsfield ALSO need a part-time book keeper. No MasterChef person there, though (click here) A local creative business needs a P/T manager (click here) Finally EM is off on maternity leave soon (congratulations) and her employer needs a private client lawyer for 12 months maternity cover (click here).


We have more “House and Garden” questions than Prince George has cute dressing gowns!

Mmm is looking for someone to lay paving slabs (click here). Stillwater would love yourFulham handyman suggestions – it’s a relatively small job! (click here). ALWFH issearching for a party-wall surveyor – any ideas? (click here). Lizbizz needs your feedback on various loft conversion companies (click here) OM is trying to track down atiler for a front step – have you met a mighty mosaicer? (click here) Our friends at TheNew England Shutter Company have posted a new video – LIGHTS, CAMERA, ACTION! (click here). KEMS is after climbing frame recommendations (click here). MM issearching for structural engineer suggestions (click here). Lastly, MTC needs a detail cleaner – she’s really struggling to find someone great (click here).


Looking to buy or sell? It’s totally free to post your items on NappyValleyNet

FOR SALE: two White Company single beds (click here), a bargain bundle of cloth nappies (click here) and LP would like to buy an Anna John Lewis toddler bed (click here).

Phew, that’s it, have a fabby week!


Annabel and the NappyValleyNet team

PS don’t forget you can now register or log in to NappyValleyNet using your Facebook, Twitter or Linkedin account.

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