“This riddle is rubbish but don’t worry I’ve got a quiz!”
It was Christmas Day and as my family tucked into turkey and roasts my father decided to swap his cracker supplied conundrum with some entertainment all of his own.
Gathered around the table was a succession of nephews, nieces and various-in-laws all of whom now waited for North Yorkshire’s very own mini-Variety Performance to get underway.
“When I was in the army,” started my father, “we used the word C.L.I.P. to help us to remember the major wound groups.”
“Errr Dad,” I whispered, “does this have a Christmas theme, Franny is very very young?”
“Nonsense,” he replied, “that last joke was about a duck and that’s not Christmassy.”
“I’ll give you the first one for free,” he continued, “C is for crush injury, now does anyone now what the L might stand for?”
Blank faces stared out over turkey legs and I could see my five year old niece asking my sister-in-law what a wound group was.
“OK, well L is tough and it’s laceration but what about the I,” he smiled at his granddaughter, “Franny it’s what you’re doing to the turkey right now?”
I have to say if anyone wanted a party game to help turn an entire table of diners into vegetarians I think my father just nailed it. After explaining the I is incision he went on to the final letter.
“Come on everyone”, he enthused, “it’s what you can also do to a bicycle tyre.”
I leaned over to Mr NVN.
“It’s puncture,” I whispered, “answer his question, change the subject and if he mentions burns when I light the pudding I’m holding you responsible.”
Here is what you’ve been talking about on NappyValleyNet (Wandsworth):
Lets keep the festive theme going! Seb originally posted in 2014 that he was a little grumpy that his extended family claimed all presents had to come from Father Christmas as it meant there was no “credit” given for gifts from relatives. He’s just added an update. Was 2015 the year that Santa was usurped? (click here)
Balhamom has just spent Christmas with her in-laws. Her husband is starting to resemble his father. And she’s not happy about it. Is she alone in feeling uneasy when a spouse morphs into an in-law? (click here)
There was also tragedy this holiday. An awful fatality in Clapham on New Year’s Eve, our thoughts go out to all involved (click here)
SB’s little one has turned into a “Daddy Hater”. She won’t let him anywhere near here, is that common, she wonders? (click here)
Canuck was walking her own dog in Wandsworth Park and there was an incident with a grey/white Pitbull/Staffordshire. Please do read the post if you recognise a dog by that description, she is very keen to make contact (click here)
Fosters is feeling vulnerable and would like advice. She has been married five years, has two children and believes her marriage may be over. What rights to property might she have? (click here) On a similar(ish) theme, SparkleK has been made redundant by text, please help if you can (click here)
The Metropolitan Police have released photos of London’s most wanted burglary suspects. Recognise any of them? (click here)
Also in the news, might the footbridge across Wandsworth Common railway station soon be closed? (click here)
LP73 has posted that some private messages are being deleted. Thank you for the heads up. If anyone else have this problem I’d love to know! (click here)
Mummag is looking for lovely long walks in Richmond, can you recommend some stunning Surrey strolls? (click here)
Socks 13 is hoping to find the owner of a scooter lost before Christmas on Endelsham Road. Do you know the wheel-less rider? (click here)
EL has posted a link to a piece in the Guardian comparing the previous adventure playground in Battersea Park to the new Go Ape. Thanks for the spot, EL! (click here)
With 2016 underway we have a satchel full of school questions...
NYM would love your feedback on Kings Avenue Primary (click here), BM wonders if John Burns School is a little unfashionable? (click here). ESA is moving to Clapham Common and wonders how to find her local schools? (click here) MM asks if the Good Schools Guide is worth the money? (click here) DZ is looking for primary school options around Clapham South (click here) J123 would love any feedback on the Floreat School (click here)
Don’t forget our online education guide covers catchment area maps, school guides and more! (click here)
Sticking with the education theme, Pod would love to know where she can buy name tags for her little one’s uniform ASAP? (click here)
SUK is having a hard time for being a working mum from her nursery. Can you recommend one that might be more “family-friendly”? (click here)
Finally closing out our school and nursery news, it looks like the creche in the Balham leisure centre has permanently closed (click here)
Moving to travel, LM would love suggestions for family ski destinations (click here) and WD asks if anyone has tried the Ikos Olivia Halkidiki? The all-inclusive element is putting her husband off! (click here)
Do you have any New Year resolutions? If any of them have a fitness theme then check out Jane Wake’s class dates! She’s at Rutherford House School and has a ton of cardio and fitness/strength ideas! (click here)
Finally, it’s your house and garden questions: we have more than the New Year has resolutions!
ZZ would love suggestions as to how to recalibrate a Britannia oven? (click here) MM is looking for shutter recommendations (click here) BF would love ideas for who can act as a party wall surveyor? (click here) EF asks who might handle a full kitchen refresh? (click here) Sticking with kitchens, BB would love ideas for a firm to install a new kitchen worktop? (click here) Lastly, Steffie would love guidelines as to how much a tiler should charge? (click here)
We’ve moved Annabel’s Arcade INTO NappyValleyNet, it’s still our “totes free” buying and selling site!
Phew, that’s the first email of 2016 done, have a great week!
Annabel and the NappyValleyNet.com Team